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Welcome

I started this blog in 2013 to share my reflections on reading, writing and psychology, along with my journey to become a published novelist.​  I soon graduated to about twenty book reviews a month and a weekly 99-word story. Ten years later, I've transferred my writing / publication updates to my new website but will continue here with occasional reviews and flash fiction pieces, and maybe the odd personal post.

ANNE GOODWIN'S WRITING NEWS

Where were you on 9/11? Before, During, After by Richard Bausch

16/2/2015

14 Comments

 
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Where were you when you heard the news of the planes crashing into the twin towers of the World Trade Center? I was at work, trying to squeeze a month’s worth of tasks from my to-do list into the remaining forty-eight hours before I left for a three-week holiday. One of my colleagues had heard the news on the radio during a ten-minute break between clients, but it didn’t make much of an impression on me until I got home and saw the footage on TV. So it wasn’t my story. Another of my colleagues was bound for a conference in New York, on a plane that got diverted to Canada. He came back with a tale to tell about the kindness of strangers, of sleeping like a refugee in a sports hall, and missing out on what might have been his only opportunity to attend a conference abroad. His story was bigger than mine, but still not much of a 9/11 survival story. In Richard Bausch’s Before, During, After, Michael Faulk is waking up with a hangover in a hotel in New York, deciding against breakfasting at the top of the towers before attending his cousin’s wedding. His fiancée, Natasha Barrett, is on a Jamaican beach holiday with one of her friends, frantically trying to find out if Michael is alive. This is their story.

The couple met only a few months earlier at a fundraising dinner hosted by Natasha’s employer, US Senator for Mississippi. She was tired of her job, and grieving for the loss of her relationship with a man who continually promised, but ultimately failed, to leave his wife. Sixteen years older, Michael is on the brink of leaving the priesthood. Somehow they click, and cancel their other plans in order to spend the coming week together, by the end of which they’ve agreed to marry soon after Natasha’s return from Jamaica.

When disaster strikes, Michael joins the disorientated throng queueing for the non-functioning phone lines, as well as for trains out of the city, conscious only of his own needs and the needs of those he loves (p86):

he thought of how he had failed to be of help to anyone – how … his one concern had been getting away from the city. He had spent most of his adult life performing the very tasks that were called for in this situation, yet he had only reacted, a numb, fearful refugee, like all the others, trying to get out.

Meanwhile Natasha, along with countless other American tourists, is stranded in paradise, pouring alcohol down her throat in a vain attempt to manage the uncertainty, the terror of not knowing whether her partner is alive or dead (p87):

She went out onto the veranda, aware of herself now as being drunk, feeling nothing good in it, no release of tension or anxiety, but only the amplification of her fear, the need to hold on to it – as if to let it go would be to tempt God: it would be when she relaxed into the belief that Faulk was safe that she could discover something awful had happened.

Yet, when the pair are eventually reunited, their anxiety doesn’t abate. In fact, it escalates. Initially, Michael feels Natasha, constantly tearful, is overreacting; then, that she is keeping something from him. As, indeed, she is, but it’s not the betrayal of their relationship that he suspects, but a violation so dreadful she finds herself withdrawing from the only people who might help her and thereby jeopardising their future happiness.

I first came across Richard Bausch through his short stories; “What Feels like the World", about a man watching his granddaughter dutifully practising a skill she is unlikely ever to master, one of my all-time favourites. So, although I hadn’t read any of his twelve other novels before, I knew this would be a treat. Before, During, After is about faith, fear and the disturbing aftermath of trauma. Thanks to Atlantic Books for my review copy.

For a couple of other novels I’ve read recently in which the events of 9/11 play a part, see my reviews of Academy Street and Andrew’s Brain. Have you read any other fiction that features this and/or do you have any 9/11 stories of your own?


Thanks for reading. I'd love to know what you think. If you've enjoyed this post, you might like to sign up via the sidebar for regular email updates and/or my quarterly Newsletter.
14 Comments
Charli Mills link
16/2/2015 05:22:28 pm

Interesting, but I have not read any 9/11 novels. I think too much is still too painful. The event itself -- I remember it being a day I took sick leave because of my back. I was watching tv when the news interrupted. I watched as the second plane plowed into the second tower. I remember motioning with my hands to "hold up" each floor as the first tower collapsed. I was on my knees sobbing as the second one did. Pre-9/11 my husband's job was on the secured portion of the airport in Minneapolis. He called, said to get the kids from school. Anyone who had airport security clearance might have their families targeted. No one knew the scope at the time and feared greater breeches. The school would not release my children because they went into lock down. It was a horrible day where nothing seemed certain afterwards. Really what changed were jobs, economics and politics. The day after 9/11 my husband and his fellow employees all had their hours cut. It was the beginning of the end of unions in aviation. Then his wages got cut, and finally, in 2008, his job. It was a slow bleed from 9/11 until 2008. When W announced war against Iraq we felt confused, betrayed. That has been another slow bleed of our country, our soldiers who serve and faith in politicians. I stopped voting in elections last November. First time since I earned the privilege at age 18. I always voted Independent, then joined the Libertarian party because I'm sick of politicians and all the government that presses us down and helps no one up, that only takes up special interests of an elite few. Ick. I don't think I really like reflecting on all of this. At first, it unified our country, but now we are so polarized only because we have a media that drives us to be so...we lost so many lives that day, so much trust and our dignity as a nation. I don't think I can read a novel such as this one, yet.

Reply
geoff link
17/2/2015 04:17:53 am

That's raw Charli. American friends have expressed similar dismay and loss with an increasing sense of frustration over the last 15 years. Extremes beget extremes and it takes time to restore to the centre ground. America will but it will never quite view and be viewed the same again.

Reply
Annecdotist
17/2/2015 08:23:20 am

I agree with Geoff, can see how you wouldn't want to read something that fictionalises this trauma. I wasn't aware that they used the tragedy to cut hours, wages and unions. Horrible! And dreadful being alone at home not being allowed to take your children. I think another sadness about the consequences is that people in other countries, or at least in Britain, feel we were dragged into the war not just through our own politicians but through the power of America, sometimes not sufficiently acknowledging that lots of US citizens didn't want it either.

Reply
Norah Colvin link
19/2/2015 04:26:45 am

What a tragic event it was Charli, for your country and its people collectively (and the world), and for you and your family, individually and as a group. My heart bleeds for and with you. I can not imagine the powerful impact it had upon you. I am half a world away and the shockwaves travelled here. The event took place in our middle of the night. Hub must have been up watching soccer (or something). He woke me up, telling me about the dreadful event. I didn't believe him at first. I thought it must be a hoax. He convinced me it wasn't and we went to the TV together and watched as the same horrible footage was played over and over and over in a never-ending loop, hoping that soon it would be revealed as a dreadful hoax. The event has made the whole world fearful. I feel for you and your family. Take care. Unite our voice in compassion and hope for a brighter and more peaceful future. :)

Reply
Gargi link
16/2/2015 11:01:15 pm

I remember it distinctly as I was due to start work the next day. In India it was evening when I saw the news, but I recall that I was so incredulous I thought it was fake, that it just couldn’t be happening. I was far removed from the actual incident, with no family or friends there at the time, but even from a humanitarian perspective I don’t believe I am equipped to read a novel on this topic, though I must say this one sounds very interesting. Hope to pick it up at a later point.

Reply
Annecdotist
17/2/2015 08:27:52 am

Thanks, Gargi, it's an event that has shocked people throughout the world. I thought the novel treated the subject sensitively, and the main characters were certainly caught up in it, but perhaps at one step removed.

Reply
geoff link
17/2/2015 04:23:11 am

One for me to read, for sure. I was in a meeting when a member of staff interrupted to tell me what was happening. I listened first to the radio and like Gargi was disbelieving. When I did see the TV the image that sticks, more than the collapse, more than the second plane curving into the second tower is the little cycling people who jumped. I still go cold as I think about that, about what it took to take that leap and I still feel sick and guilty that like so many, I watched on TV. The ultimate Hobson's choice and of all the images from that day I would like to erase it is those falling..

Reply
Annecdotist
17/2/2015 08:29:40 am

Yes, that image of people jumping/falling is in the novel. I also find those phone messages of people on the planes really harrowing.

Reply
Norah Colvin link
19/2/2015 04:37:21 am

I agree with so much of what the others have said, Anne. It is interesting that most have said they are not yet ready to read a story abut this event. The author was obviously ready to write and thought (hoped) that readers would be ready for it. I think, from the way you have described it, that I would find it interesting because of the human response to such a tragic event. I can't imagine how I would feel/respond in such a circumstance (and hope I never have to!) but i think finding out how others responded may help me understand what they were going through. The whole thing is so horrific that hearing any true stories just makes me want to weep. Maybe delving into the psyche of the fictionalized characters may make the emotions less threatening.
I think it is a great book to share while we are all thinking about compassion because that is the feeling that overwhelms me for all those who have suffered in so many different ways as a result of this brutal event.

Reply
Annecdotist
19/2/2015 07:05:31 am

I find that interesting too, Norah. I suppose when people have constructed their own story of that event it can be hard to be presented with an alternative. I should emphasise that this novel isn't ONLY about 9/11, as Natasha, although miles away, experiences her own trauma of a different kind, but she either hides behind the events of 9/11 or, because of the shared tragedy, she isn't able to express what happened to her.
I must admit, however, I didn't find it a difficult read, though agree it's timely for the compassion blogathon.

Reply
Sherri Matthews link
19/2/2015 12:04:10 pm

Powerful this Anne, and I am utterly intrigued by the story behind this personal account of how 9/11 affected these two people and the aftermath. I was living in California when it happened. My birthday is 10th September and so we had been out, my now ex husband and our three children for a quiet celebratory meal. When we awoke on a 'normal' school/ morning the next day, we had no idea that the world as we all knew it would be changed forever. I watched the second plane crash into the tower on live TV and froze in horror as with so many. The worst of it for me was that my brother flew with Virgin and I knew that that very day he was heading out to Newark with a plane load of British holidaymakers. I was unable to get hold of my family as the phones and internet crashed and I was worried sick about my brother. As it turned out, my mother, oblivious until she watched the news that evening, happened to call me as a belated birthday call and managed to get through so I was able to tell her the awful news. But I coudnt reach my family in England for 3 days and that was horrendous. I felt completely isolated. At last I learned that my brother always calculated enough fuel for emergency and by some miracle he was able to fly his plane back home and so prevented a landing in Canada. The passengers were so happy to be back home despite missing out on their holidays. The stress of that day affected my brother badly, it took him a long time to get over the 'what ifs'. Being told half way across the Atlantic that they would be shot down if they entered US airspace and had to divert was a shock to say the least, especially not knowing all that had happened. I think that because of my vivid memories of that day and way it affected me being so far from my home, I would definitely read this book. Thank you for your wonderful review.

Reply
Annecdotist
21/2/2015 08:24:05 am

I feel for you, Sherri, and for your brother, must have been terrible to get the news when you're piloting a plane halfway across the Atlantic. And that extra stress of being unable to check loved ones are okay comes across extremely powerfully in the novel. I guess it must have felt worse when we're so used to connecting easily these days, despite vast distances. Thanks for sharing.

Reply
Lori Schafer link
21/2/2015 03:03:08 pm

I rarely watch TV, and certainly not first thing in the morning, because I can't stand the noise. But I do generally open up my computer when I get up, and I remember seeing those images on my screen at a quarter to six and thinking it had to be some kind of joke or mistake. I turned on the news, and it turned out to be real - and even more real about twenty minutes later when the second plane hit. There isn't much that turns my stomach, but that did.

I had a friend living in New York at the time, and one of my exes was visiting the city that week, and I do recall some moments of panic while I was waiting to hear back from them. An ex-wife of a friend actually worked in the Towers, and he was frantic until he learned that she had gotten out all right. I remember wondering if we were next and being glad that I had moved out to Modesto, which is in cattle country, about two hours east of SF. And I remember the instant nosedive the economy took, how large numbers of flights were shut down for weeks all over the country, how several airlines went out of business because no one wanted to fly.

But mostly I remember picturing it, over and over, what those people must have gone through, those in the Towers as well as those on the ground. Were it not for the footage, I could never have imagined the immensity of a building like that crashing down around me, could never truly have pictured how one tiny person would look leaping from the hundredth floor of a skyscraper. I'll tell you, it was years before I felt comfortable staying in a hotel where there are multiple floors and no easy exit, and I still don't like it very much. And every time we're threatened, like with North Korea and their nuclear weapons, I'm grateful again that I live in the suburbs, though not so far out now. But perhaps the hardest thing to get over is the knowledge that these terrorists were happy to do this to us. It was a triumph for them, and I just can't understand it. How could anyone do that to other humans? It's incomprehensible to me, and I hope that at least some of them, when they saw the footage, when they saw the reality of what they had done, were as sickened by it as I was.

Reply
Annecdotist
22/2/2015 08:00:46 am

Not the thing you want to see on your screen so early in the morning, and dreadful to be left wondering about the fate of friends in the area.
I wonder also what they felt watching the footage, Lori, although, if they considered themselves to be at war they probably felt the suffering was justified. Germany has just been marking the fiftieth anniversary of the firebombing of Dresden with about 25,000 people killed by the countries on the side of right.
There’s still so much violence in the world, sometimes can be one horror story after the other.

Reply



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