annethology
  • Home
    • About Annethology
    • About me >
      • A little more about me
    • About my books
    • Author talks
    • Contact me
    • Forthcoming events
    • World Mental Health Day
    • Privacy
    • Sign up for my newsletter
  • Debut novel and encore
    • Sugar and Snails >
      • Acknowledgements
      • Blog tour, Q&A's and feature articles >
        • Birthday blog tour
        • S&S on tour 2022
      • Early endorsements
      • Events >
        • Launch photos
        • Launch party videos
      • in pictures
      • Media
      • If you've read the book
      • Polari
      • Reading group questions
      • Reviews
      • In the media
    • Underneath >
      • Endorsements and reviews
      • Launch party and events
      • Pictures
      • Questions for book groups
      • The stories underneath the novel
  • Matilda Windsor series
    • The accidental series
    • Matilda Windsor >
      • What readers say
      • For book groups
      • Interviews, articles and features
      • Matty on the move
      • Who were you in 1990?
      • Asylum lit
      • Matilda Windsor media
    • Stolen Summers >
      • Stolen Summers reviews
    • Lyrics for the Loved Ones
  • Short stories
    • Somebody’s Daughter
    • Becoming Someone (anthology) >
      • Becoming Someone (video readings)
      • Becoming Someone reviews
      • Becoming Someone online book chat
    • Print and downloads
    • Read it online
    • Quick reads
  • Free ebook
  • Annecdotal
    • Annecdotal blog
    • Annecdotal Press
    • Articles >
      • Print journalism
      • Where psychology meets fiction
    • Fictional therapists
    • Reading and reviews >
      • Reviews A to H
      • Reviews I to M
      • Reviews N to Z
      • Nonfiction
      • Themed quotes
      • Reading around the world
  • Shop
    • Inspired Quill (my publisher)
    • Bookshop.org (affiliate link)
    • Amazon UK
    • Amazon US
    • books2read

Welcome

I started this blog in 2013 to share my reflections on reading, writing and psychology, along with my journey to become a published novelist.​  I soon graduated to about twenty book reviews a month and a weekly 99-word story. Ten years later, I've transferred my writing / publication updates to my new website but will continue here with occasional reviews and flash fiction pieces, and maybe the odd personal post.

ANNE GOODWIN'S WRITING NEWS

The trouble with writing book blurbs: can’t see the wood for the trees?

20/5/2019

8 Comments

 
Picture
Many authors struggle with the task of summarising a book-length project, whether it’s the one-page synopsis we need for submissions, the 10-second elevator pitch ready for the dreaded what’s-it-about question or the blurb to entice browsers at bookstores or online. How do you condense the twists and turns of a 300-page novel into such a small space? How do you tease out the key elements when you’ve lived with those characters for years? Sometimes, it’s impossible to see the wood for the trees.
 
Another pair of eyes can provide the necessary distance; likewise the passage of time. Almost four years on from the publication of my debut novel, Sugar and Snails, I’ve agreed with my publisher the blurb we worked so hard to perfect could be sharper. To get it right, we need your help.
A blurb has two main functions: to inform browsers whether or not the book is likely to be for them and to persuade the target readership to give this particular book their money and/or time. And it has to achieve this quickly amid other demands for their attention, other books clamouring to be read.

I think we’ve got it about right with the blurb for my second novel, Underneath. There’s an inviting first line which gives a suggestion of the story to come. The opening paragraph establishes the main characters and their relationship; the second sets out the core conflict and ratchets up the tension with a hint at a calamitous climax. It also, with questions about fatherhood, positions this as psychological suspense rather than a straight thriller. Finally, it ends with a cliffhanger: hopefully readers will be sufficiently intrigued by the question to want to find the answer.

Picture
He never intended to be a jailer …

After years of travelling, responsible to no-one but himself, Steve has resolved to settle down. He gets a job, buys a house and persuades Liesel to move in with him.

Life’s perfect, until Liesel delivers her ultimatum: if he won’t agree to start a family, she’ll have to leave. He can’t bear to lose her, but how can he face the prospect of fatherhood when he has no idea what being a father means? If he could somehow make her stay, he wouldn’t have to choose … and it would be a shame not to make use of the cellar.


Will this be the solution to his problems, or the catalyst for his own unravelling?

Picture
Compare that with the blurb for Sugar and Snails. It’s only 24 words longer, but it feels more of an effort to read. Like Underneath, it contains seven sentences, but the average (mean) length is 21 words as opposed to 17.5. According to word counter, it’s at college student level, taking 33 seconds to read. Whereas Underneath is pitched at 9-10th grade and takes 27 seconds. I think we can make it tighter without losing key ingredients. We can also make it clearer, without giving away the character’s secret.
The past lingers on, etched beneath our skin ...
 
At fifteen, Diana Dodsworth took the opportunity to radically alter the trajectory of her life, and escape the constraints of her small-town existence. Thirty years on, she can’t help scratching at her teenage decision like a scabbed wound.
 
To safeguard her secret, she’s kept other people at a distance... until Simon Jenkins sweeps in on a cloud of promise and possibility. But his work is taking him to Cairo, and he expects Di to fly out for a visit. She daren’t return to the city that changed her life; nor can she tell Simon the reason why.
 
Sugar and Snails takes the reader on a poignant journey from Diana’s misfit childhood, through tortured adolescence to a triumphant mid-life coming-of-age that challenges preconceptions about bridging the gap between who we are and who we feel we ought to be.
I’ve become disaffected with that opening sentence/phrase. Yes, it’s poetic, and relevant to the story, but it’s too enigmatic. It doesn’t say enough about what kind of past, or even whether its lingering is problematic. So I’ve generated some possible alternatives, which I gave a preliminary airing at a book fair on Saturday. The results are inconclusive, so I’ve tweaked them a little and I’d like you to tell me which – if any – work for you. Whether you’ve read the novel or not, which of these would incite your curiosity and make you want to read on?


On the subject of wood for the trees, Charli has put out a call for tree-seeking 99-word stories. Mine’s based on a childhood memory from Sugar and Snails. As it’s for her daughter who, based in the Arctic, is missing trees, a gallery of tree-based photos from yesterday’s Peak District patrol follows mine.

Picture
It’s not where you walk, it’s who you’re with

Swinging my arms, I followed him up the slope towards the spinney. Casual. As if a country walk with my dad were an everyday thing.

He pointed out the ash and the spindly silver birch, its bark like alligator skin. I showed him a squirrel, scampering across the path, up a tree trunk shelved with bracken fungus.

At a sudden tapping, he grabbed my shoulder. Though we strained our eyes and necks to scan the treetops, the woodpecker eluded us. It didn’t matter; the shared not-seeing made me feel close to him. For the first time, he’d seen me.
 
Although it’s not a tree, or on a tree, and the camera on my phone isn’t great, I was rather chuffed to also get a photo of a pair of green hairstreak butterflies mating:

Picture
Thanks for reading. I'd love to know what you think. If you've enjoyed this post, you might like to sign up via the sidebar for regular email updates and/or my quarterly Newsletter.
8 Comments
Charli Mills link
21/5/2019 05:50:01 am

That lovely purple haze. I love the ephemeral beauty of spring. You even caught the flashy mating season and all with a phone camera! But Diana had a different experience as a child, relying upon memory of sharp moments with no phone cam around.

After you pointed out the difference between opening lines, yes, I can understand your want to change the opening blurb to S&S. It is too vague. There's no context for the pretty words. I like the use of "secret" because the story is all about protecting that secret, and yet transforming from it, as well.

Reply
Anne Goodwin
21/5/2019 01:38:33 pm

Thanks, Charli. I’ve come to think that fine words can be unhelpful when readers are trying to work out what the book is about. But, interestingly, when I tested this on Saturday, the first person actually preferred the current opener. Secrets is a good one although I’m wondering if that’s becoming a cliche.
Glad you liked the pictures. I love the carpet bluebells in the woods at this time of year. The ponies took me by surprise, however. I hadn’t seen them in that valley before and not sure how they got there. But the butterflies were the most exciting – I’m still surprised I spotted them as they were quite low down and I wasn’t particularly looking.

Reply
Kate Vane link
21/5/2019 08:52:19 am

The first lines focus on different areas of the story. Which do you think is most important - the secret, the sacrifice, the decision? Then I would go for direct language - the sacrifice and the at fifteen are the best for that. I think asking the reader a question is good too. You could adapt the at fifteen one - eg At fifteen, she made a life-changing decision. Thirty years on, can she make another?

I think some of the words in the blurb are a bit abstract and can distance the reader eg trajectory, safeguard, preconceptions. Your other blurb has more immediate, engaging language. Maybe try and make it more conversational and focus on emotions/decisions rather than themes?

Hope that helps. Other people's blurbs are always easier!

Reply
Anne Goodwin
21/5/2019 01:58:21 pm

Thanks, Kate, that’s very helpful. All of those keywords are relevant and my idea was that those that don’t get the thumbs up for the opening can go later in the text. You’re so right about simplicity and the emotional connection. Browsers want to be able to make up their minds quickly.

Reply
Norah Colvin link
21/5/2019 01:08:02 pm

Interesting post, Anne. I'm excited that you are rewriting the blurb for Sugar and Snails. It's obviously still selling. That's great. I think, judging from Charli's comment, that she and I chose the same opening line, but perhaps we should keep that a secret. :) I would still reword it slightly - towards the end, I think.
Kate makes some good points too.
I remember the scene from Sugar and Snails and felt what Diana felt at actually being seen - it's such an important feeling.
How wonderful that you provided a slideshow of gorgeous photos for Charli's daughter. I'm sure she will enjoy them. The colours are magnificent, and the butterflies beautiful.

Reply
Anne Goodwin
21/5/2019 02:07:50 pm

Thanks, Norah, I very much appreciate your thoughts. Yeah, I can find out which are the most appealing and then tweak than a bit and see what people think. Maybe as Kate suggests, posing them as questions???
Yes, it’s still selling, albeit slowly, with a few bookshop signings and events in the next few weeks. Although the revisions won’t be printed before then it helps me to focus. I also took extracts from blogger reviews to last Saturday’s book fair – an idea I got from one of IQ’s American authors.
As for Diana remembering being seen, it didn’t last long, but I enjoyed revisiting that chapter for Charli’s prompt.

Reply
Stephanie Jane (Literary Flits) link
28/5/2019 08:58:11 am

I just voted for the second-to-last option.
Personally I'm not so keen on blurbs that ask lots of questions or ones which give out information on things which will happen in the later stages of their books

Reply
Anne Goodwin
28/5/2019 05:45:32 pm

Thanks for that, Stephanie. The poll randomises the options, so I’m not sure what you picked, but that feedback is helpful.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Picture
    Free ebook: click the image to claim yours.
    Picture
    Available now
    Picture
    The poignant prequel to Matilda Windsor Is Coming Home
    Picture
    Find a review
    Picture
    Fictional therapists
    Picture
    Picture
    About Anne Goodwin
    Picture
    My published books
    entertaining fiction about identity, mental health and social justice
    Picture
    My third novel, published May 2021
    Picture
    My debut novel shortlisted for the 2016 Polari First Book Prize
    Picture
    Picture
    My second novel published May 2017.
    Picture
    Short stories on the theme of identity published 2018
    Anne Goodwin's books on Goodreads
    Sugar and Snails Sugar and Snails
    reviews: 32
    ratings: 52 (avg rating 4.21)

    Underneath Underneath
    reviews: 24
    ratings: 60 (avg rating 3.17)

    Becoming Someone Becoming Someone
    reviews: 8
    ratings: 9 (avg rating 4.56)

    GUD: Greatest Uncommon Denominator, Issue 4 GUD: Greatest Uncommon Denominator, Issue 4
    reviews: 4
    ratings: 9 (avg rating 4.44)

    The Best of Fiction on the Web The Best of Fiction on the Web
    reviews: 3
    ratings: 3 (avg rating 4.67)

    2022 Reading Challenge

    2022 Reading Challenge
    Anne has read 2 books toward their goal of 100 books.
    hide
    2 of 100 (2%)
    view books
    Picture
    Annecdotal is where real life brushes up against the fictional.  
    Picture
    Annecdotist is the blogging persona of Anne Goodwin: 
    reader, writer,

    slug-slayer, tramper of moors, 
    recovering psychologist, 
    struggling soprano, 
    author of three fiction books.

    LATEST POSTS HERE
    I don't post to a schedule, but average  around ten reviews a month (see here for an alphabetical list), 
    some linked to a weekly flash fiction, plus posts on my WIPs and published books.  

    Your comments are welcome any time any where.

    Get new posts direct to your inbox ...

    Enter your email address:

    or click here …

    RSS Feed


    Picture

    Tweets by @Annecdotist
    Picture
    New short story, “My Dirty Weekend”
    Picture
    Let’s keep in touch – subscribe to my newsletter
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture

    Popular posts

    • Compassion: something we all need
    • Do spoilers spoil?
    • How to create a convincing fictional therapist
    • Instructions for a novel
    • Looking at difference, embracing diversity
    • Never let me go: the dilemma of lending books
    • On loving, hating and writers’ block
      On Pop, Pirates and Plagiarism
    • READIN' for HER reviews
    • Relishing the cuts
    • The fast first draft
    • The tragedy of obedience
    • Writers and therapy: a love-hate relationship?

    Categories/Tags

    All
    Animals
    Annecdotist Hosts
    Annecdotist On Tour
    Articles
    Attachment Theory
    Author Interviews
    Becoming Someone
    Being A Writer
    Blogging
    Bodies
    Body
    Bookbirthday
    Books For Writers
    Bookshops
    CB Book Group
    Character
    Childhood
    Christmas
    Classics
    Climate Crisis
    Coming Of Age
    Counsellors Cafe
    Creative Writing Industry
    Creativity
    Cumbria
    Debut Novels
    Disability
    Editing
    Emotion
    Ethics
    Ethis
    Family
    Feedback And Critiques
    Fictional Psychologists & Therapists
    Food
    Friendship
    Futuristic
    Gender
    Genre
    Getting Published
    Giveaways
    Good Enough
    Grammar
    Gratitude
    Group/organisational Dynamics
    Hero’s Journey
    History
    Humour
    Identity
    Illness
    Independent Presses
    Institutions
    International Commemorative Day
    Jane Eyre
    Kidney Disease
    Language
    LGBTQ
    Libraries
    Live Events
    Lyrics For The Loved Ones
    Marketing
    Matilda Windsor
    Memoir
    Memory
    Mental Health
    Microfiction
    Motivation
    Music
    MW Prequel
    Names
    Narrative Voice
    Nature / Gardening
    Networking
    Newcastle
    Nonfiction
    Nottingham
    Novels
    Pandemic
    Peak District
    Perfect Match
    Poetry
    Point Of View
    Politics
    Politics Current Affairs
    Presentation
    Privacy
    Prizes
    Psychoanalytic Theory
    Psychology
    Psycholoists Write
    Psychotherapy
    Race
    Racism
    Rants
    Reading
    Real Vs Imaginary
    Religion
    Repetitive Strain Injury
    Research
    Reviewing
    Romance
    Satire
    Second Novels
    Settings
    Sex
    Shakespeare
    Short Stories General
    Short Stories My Published
    Short Stories Others'
    Siblings
    Snowflake
    Somebody's Daughter
    Stolen Summers
    Storytelling
    Structure
    Sugar And Snails
    Technology
    The
    The Guestlist
    Therapy
    TikTok
    TNTB
    Toiletday
    Tourism
    Toxic Positivity
    Transfiction
    Translation
    Trauma
    Unconscious
    Unconscious, The
    Underneath
    Voice Recognition Software
    War
    WaSBihC
    Weather
    Work
    Writing Process
    Writing Technique

    Archives

    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013

    Picture
    BLOGGING COMMUNITIES
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos from havens.michael34, romana klee, mrsdkrebs, Kyle Taylor, Dream It. Do It., adam & lucy, dluders, Joybot, Hammer51012, jorgempf, Sherif Salama, eyspahn, raniel diaz, E. E. Piphanies, scaredofbabies, Nomadic Lass, paulternate, Tony Fischer Photography, archer10 (Dennis), slightly everything, impbox, jonwick04, country_boy_shane, dok1, Out.of.Focus, U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service - Midwest Region, Elvert Barnes, guillenperez, Richard Perry, jamesnaruke, Juan Carlos Arniz Sanz, El Tuerto, kona99, maveric2003, !anaughty!, Patrick Denker, David Davies, hamilcar_south, idleformat, Dave Goodman, Sharon Mollerus, photosteve101, La Citta Vita, A Girl With Tea, striatic, carlosfpardo, Damork, Elvert Barnes, UNE Photos, jurvetson, quinn.anya, BChristensen93, Joelk75, ashesmonroe, albertogp123, >littleyiye<, mudgalbharat, Swami Stream, Dicemanic, lovelihood, anyjazz65, Tjeerd, albastrica mititica, jimmiehomeschoolmom, joshtasman, tedeytan, striatic, goforchris, torbakhopper, maggibautista, andreboeni, snigl3t, rainy city, frankieleon