annethology
  • Home
    • About Annethology
    • About me >
      • A little more about me
    • About my books
    • Author talks
    • Contact me
    • Forthcoming events
    • World Mental Health Day
    • Privacy
    • Sign up for my newsletter
  • Sugar and Snails
    • Acknowledgements
    • Blog tour, Q&A's and feature articles >
      • Birthday blog tour
      • S&S on tour 2022
    • Early endorsements
    • Events >
      • Launch photos
      • Launch party videos
    • in pictures
    • Media
    • If you've read the book
    • Polari
    • Reading group questions
    • Reviews
    • In the media
  • Underneath
    • Endorsements and reviews
    • Launch party and events
    • Pictures
    • Questions for book groups
    • The stories underneath the novel
  • Matilda Windsor series
    • Matilda Windsor >
      • What readers say
      • For book groups
      • Interviews, articles and features
      • Matty on the move
      • Who were you in 1990?
      • Asylum lit
      • Matilda Windsor media
    • Stolen Summers >
      • Stolen Summers reviews
  • Short stories
    • Somebody’s Daughter
    • Becoming Someone (anthology) >
      • Becoming Someone (video readings)
      • Becoming Someone reviews
      • Becoming Someone online book chat
    • Print and downloads
    • Read it online
    • Quick reads
  • Free ebook
  • Annecdotal
    • Annecdotal blog
    • Annecdotal Press
    • Articles >
      • Print journalism
      • Where psychology meets fiction
    • Fictional therapists
    • Reading and reviews >
      • Reviews A to H
      • Reviews I to M
      • Reviews N to Z
      • Nonfiction
      • Themed quotes
      • Reading around the world
  • Shop
    • Inspired Quill (my publisher)
    • Bookshop.org (affiliate link)
    • Amazon UK
    • Amazon US
    • books2read

About the author and blogger ...

Anne Goodwin’s drive to understand what makes people tick led to a career in clinical psychology. That same curiosity now powers her fiction.
A prize-winning short-story writer, she has published three novels and a short story collection with small independent press, Inspired Quill. Her debut novel, Sugar and Snails, was shortlisted for the 2016 Polari First Book Prize.
Away from her desk, Anne guides book-loving walkers through the Derbyshire landscape that inspired Charlotte Brontë’s Jane Eyre.
Subscribers to her newsletter can download a free e-book of award-winning short stories.

TELL ME MORE

Being good enough: Shrugging off the tyranny of perfection

26/2/2014

22 Comments

 
Picture
I recently published a post – no, I’m not saying which one – which I knew was a bit muddled. I had something to say, and it was timely to say it, but I couldn’t marshal my thoughts to express that something in a sufficiently coherent manner. For weeks it had festered on my To do list. I’d bring out my draft now and then to add bits and chop bits and move bits of it around, but it still wasn’t anywhere near how I’d hoped to get it when the idea had first lodged itself in my mind. It wasn’t so dreadful that I wanted to consign it to the scrap heap, but I had to accept I hadn’t the time or the talent to make it zing. So I clicked on Publish and left it for others to judge its worth.

Do we demonstrate a lack of respect for ourselves and our readers when we send out work we consider below par? Or are we being realistic in recognising we can’t perform at our optimum level all the time? Where do we draw the line between acceptable and sloppy, and how do we recognise such a line when we see it?

We need our standards but, as Emma Darwin points out, too much self-criticism and perfectionism is counter-productive as it stops us even trying to create. Yes, we must kill our darlings, but we mustn’t abort them before they’ve had the chance to see what they might become.

Accepting things as they are isn’t tantamount to passive resignation. It’s not the same as giving up. Yet isn’t it rather grandiose to think we have to get everything right? My blog post, along with the rest of my millions of sentences, is insignificant in the overall scheme of things. Good or bad – the universe doesn’t give a shit.

I like the way Justine Musk has drawn on the Icarus myth to illustrate how writers need to forge a path between reaching for the scorching heights of the sun and sinking so low our wings become waterlogged and we come crashing down to earth:
When we’re grandiose, we won’t create because we don’t want to destroy our illusions about ourselves; when we’re depressed and despairing, we won’t create because we don’t see the point.  Too close to the sun or too close to the water; too high or too low; neither is the place where we get any work done.
I’ve remarked on the grandiose aspect of creativity in my post on Fiction about writers and writing. The psychoanalyst, Hanna Segal, commenting on William Golding’s novel, The Spire, is sympathetic to the artist’s need to have sufficient self-belief to mitigate the anxiety of the work collapsing. As Sophie Beal points out, when we’re ricocheting between ambition and humility we might not arrive at the position for which we’re aiming, but we might reach a place we’d never dreamt of that works just as well.

As I commented on Emma’s blog, this struggle to find and hold a position about ourselves and our world that is neither unduly pessimistic nor unrealistically grandiose, is at the core of the object relations school of psychoanalysis. The unfortunate wording notwithstanding, the concept of good-enough is one we all recognise, and often features on writers’ blogs. Given the complexity of the path to self-acceptance, it’s useful to remind each other that we’re already there. We don’t have to perform to be good enough, we just have to be:
I’m convinced that the core of everything that is wrong on this planet is people feeling that they are not good enough. But there is nothing to prove. You don’t have to do anything.
interview of Eve Ensler by Decca Aitkenhead
Yet sometimes it’s hard to recognise the truth in this. Some of us need help to overcome our addiction to external validation and praise. The journey to good-enough means there’s always work for therapists, but there’s plenty of inspiration for writers too. My own Icarus story is about a man who can’t bear how closely he’s tied to the earth but, except in his fantasies, hasn’t the wings to even begin to approach the sun. In Search of Mr Right, recently republished by The Journeyman, is a more humorous take on embracing good-enough without settling for second best.

I’ll leave you with a songster’s take on this theme: Kate and Anna McGarrigle’s Dancer with Bruised Knees.

Please share your own thoughts on navigating around perfectionism and despair to reach good-enough. How do you balance this in relation to your own creativity? Has the journey to good-enough inspired any of your writing or been the subject of any of the fiction you’ve read?

I'll be returning with a lighter post on Monday when I'm asking how do you arrange your literary bookshelves? I hope you'll join me.



Thanks for reading. I'd love to know what you think. If you've enjoyed this post, you might like to sign up via the sidebar for regular email updates and/or my quarterly Newsletter.
22 Comments
Nicola Viincent-Abnett link
26/2/2014 03:24:43 am

This one took me by surprise, because I realise that it's almost precisely what my blog is about. All I need for the blog is the thought in my head; it's the one thing that isn't about the writing at all. I toss it off in ten minutes while I drink my first cup of tea of the day, read it back and post it: no editing, no tinkering, no nothing. I don't judge it for the craft, or, for that matter for the idea (it's all tomorrow's chip paper, and I don't believe for a moment that anyone actually reads it). It's the most liberating feeling, and I can't help thinking that having this approach to at least this small portion of my writing life makes the 'real' writing a little easier.

Reply
Annecdotist
26/2/2014 04:15:44 am

Thanks for commenting, Nicola, and so interesting our different approaches. Caroline Lodge has a post today on the different styles of blogging which I thought relates to this. Don't know if you've seen it? http://www.bookword.co.uk/the-craft-of-blogging-2-types-of-posts/

Reply
geoff le pard
26/2/2014 03:24:38 pm

Anne
This caught me at exactly the right, weak moment. It its home whenever I approach the conundrum of have I finished yet? When if my book, any book, done? It's not that I aspire to perfection but I want to avoid the awful. The idea is, I suppose, as someone much brighter than me pointed out, that a book is never finished but only abandoned. It seems to me that if I can reach the point where I publish - I let that child go into the brave public world - that I have finished. So this year's resolution is to publish - self publish at least and it will happen but boy does it hurt trying to cross that Rubicon. It's only that there is still that voice asking 'are you sure it is good enough?'

Reply
Annecdotist
27/2/2014 03:28:07 am

Lovely to hear from you again, Geoff. It's a difficult one because the kind of novels I want to read and write often do require a lot of work to get to good enough. But there's a point when you have to test the water IMO and it's ever so scary. I hope to see you dipping your toe in.
I'm wondering why you thinking self publishing initially? Perhaps it's different/easier with short stories but I found it quite liberating to pass the good enough decision over to an editor. That said, I was looking to republish one of my old short story publications and decided it's absolutely dire! But I guess that's about the way we change over time.

Reply
Norah Colvin link
26/2/2014 07:30:01 pm

I love the line: we don't have to perform to be good enough, we just have to be. I think that is a really important message to keep reminding ourselves - about ourselves, and about others. It's about accepting ourselves just as we are, and accepting others just as they are - no expectations. It's not always easy, for the self or others.

Reply
Annecdotist
27/2/2014 03:30:29 am

So true, Norah. My own capacity for acceptance fluctuates, which is probably why I wrote this. Also ties in with the discussion we are having on your blog.

Reply
Emma Darwin link
27/2/2014 09:03:18 am

Really good piece. The thing is, perfectionism is easy to demand. If you like, it's the lazy way out: just be perfect. What's much more emotionally/intellectually demanding is sorting out how near "perfect" any given piece of work needs to be: each piece and each stage of your life requires a new working-out of what your standard of "good enough" and therefore "finished" is.

Two things worth remembering, though: "Satisfied" comes from Latin "satis", which means "enough". And also that these days art historians and critics often speak of a visual artwork not being "finished" but being "resolved". I think that's really interesting to thing about in terms of writing: not "Have I finished?" but "HAve I resolved everything that matters in this piece?"...

Reply
Annecdotist
28/2/2014 07:41:23 am

Emma, I very much appreciate your reading and commenting here. That's a really interesting angle – perfectionism as the lazy way. We often think it's about high standards, and therefore hard, but you're absolutely right – it's a way of avoiding a more complex engagement with "out there" and having to work out afresh each time how much is required.
I love the idea of artwork not been finished but resolved. Thanks for sharing.

Reply
Safia link
27/2/2014 10:41:38 am

A very good post, Anne. Firstly, I think we all need to accept that there is no such thing as 'perfect' in this life, least of all when it comes to the Arts. Once we get over striving for perfection, we are more relaxed and less stressed about what we write and that can only be a positive thing. As someone else points out, 'good enough' can change over time, at least as far as we are personally concerned. However, getting others to read and comment on our work is essential I feel, in order to determine where we are on the 'scale' of writing competence at any given time. I don't think it's a question of saying something is 'good enough' but rather, having the confidence to say, 'I've worked on this enough and it's as good as I can make it'. Is that basically the same as 'good enough'? Love your ref to Object Relations and relieved I had a 'good enough' mother :-) Also, never sweat over blog posts - I don't and I've published some that would have benefitted from several edits - they are just snapshots, not proper writer portraits. Lol.

Reply
Annecdotist
28/2/2014 07:52:09 am

That's the great comment, Safia. Yes perfect is an illusion and so liberating to break free – although like Emma says, it brings in a different kind of complication – or like you say, requires confidence to know when you've done enough. Glad to you like the object relations stuff, too.
Regarding blog posts, well I wouldn't go so far as to sweat over them, but I think of them as publications and therefore requiring a degree of checking over. But of course they have such a short lifespan even the dreadful ones don't matter – We can always revise our views and write a better one! and the comments help so much.

Reply
Justine Musk link
27/2/2014 11:30:26 am

The irony seems to be that when we get better at *being*, the *doing* starts to take care of itself.

Great post.

Reply
Annecdotist
28/2/2014 07:53:32 am

Thanks for coming,Justine – lovely succinct summing up.

Reply
Nicola Vincent-Abnett link
28/2/2014 08:15:42 am

Having worked as an editor, I've seen some manuscripts that have been very far from perfect. One of the many keys to being published or to getting an agent is being able to sell oneself and the idea for the work long before any thing is committed to paper, or computer file. I'm talking about confidence, obviously.

Perfectionists, as my grandmother would have said, and did, take great pains and give them to other people.

Not to mention that being an editor it also gave me great pleasure, at times, to be able to tease a great manuscript out of some pretty mediocre writing.

Go figure.

Reply
Annecdotist
1/3/2014 08:25:09 am

Thanks for returning to the discussion, Nicola, and bringing your grandmother with her good sense too. ;)
I do get that an editor needs to have something to do, and it's hard to imagine a piece of writing that couldn't be improved upon, but of the advice I've had about submissions is getting the manuscript as good as you can make it before sending it out. Certainly I think that's the case for beginners trying to break into the market.

Reply
Sophie
4/3/2014 02:11:53 am

Thanks for this thoughtful post Anne. I think there's something about personality involved. If you gave twenty writers the same information, they'd all interpret it in very different ways. What looks perfect to one, would look wrong to another as their work. Is that when expression and personal style come into play?

Reply
Annecdotist
4/3/2014 06:12:18 am

Thanks for coming, Sophie, and you're absolutely right (although it's in the nature of the beast, as you say, that another person might disagree) we look at things differently due to where we've come from and in the end can only judge for ourselves

Reply
Caroline link
6/3/2014 04:55:22 am

Hi Anne,
Glad you mentioned being good enough because it's a very useful concept for: writing, parenting, school children, homemade cakes and possibly love affairs.
Nice discussion.
Caroline

Reply
Annecdotist
6/3/2014 06:34:57 am

Glad you liked it, Caroline, and thanks for supplying those examples. I agree with every one of them.

Reply
Irene Waters link
13/7/2014 06:34:17 am

Hi Anne, A good post Anne.I can't accept good enough - that seems to be a bit defeatist to me however neither do I strive for perfection. I think we have to push ourselves beyond our limits and strive for the best that we can do. This will never be perfect but it will be achievable. I have no choice but to prioritise my work. For a publishable manuscript it has to be the absolutely best that I can do. For a blog post it will be the best that I can do in the time that I have to do it in and these days the time I have to spend on posts is miniscule. With all practice though improvement happens. I agree that you shouldn't send out work that is knowingly substandard as people do read the posts and these are potential purchasers of work you may publish and they won't consider it if your writing is below par. Cheers Irene

Reply
Annecdotist
13/7/2014 09:52:06 am

Thanks for reading and sharing your perspective, Irene. Sounds like you have a fair balance. I'd actually think of doing what you can within the limits of your resources at the time IS going for good enough. And I agree, the more we keep working at it, the better chance we have that our writing will improve.

Reply
Eli@Coachdaddy link
13/7/2014 11:08:36 am

I struggled with starting a post today that I didn't think my heart would be in, because of external factors.

I found the process of finding the heart to do it was the best exercise I could have imagined.

I think in your situation, when you had a post you didn't feel maybe was up to par, writing a separate post about how things weren't up to par would be simply brilliant.

So many times, blog readers don't care as much about the stories we tell as they do the predicaments. I love that. we want to sit down for 500-700 words and just hear the predicament.

Then comment.

Then maybe write something of our own. So, thank you for your predicament.

Reply
Annecdotist
13/7/2014 01:59:14 pm

So glad you found my blog, Eli, and glad this post worked for you. You're right, a perfect blog post wouldn't BE perfect because it wouldn't believe anything for others to contribute to the comments. Will have to pop across and see what you made of your post today.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Picture
    Free ebook: click the image to claim yours.
    Picture
    OUT NOW: The poignant prequel to Matilda Windsor Is Coming Home
    Picture
    Find a review
    Picture
    Fictional therapists
    Picture
    Picture
    About Anne Goodwin
    Picture
    My published books
    entertaining fiction about identity, mental health and social justice
    Picture
    My latest novel, published May 2021
    Picture
    My debut novel shortlisted for the 2016 Polari First Book Prize
    Picture
    Picture
    My second novel published May 2017.
    Picture
    Short stories on the theme of identity published 2018
    Anne Goodwin's books on Goodreads
    Sugar and Snails Sugar and Snails
    reviews: 32
    ratings: 52 (avg rating 4.21)

    Underneath Underneath
    reviews: 24
    ratings: 60 (avg rating 3.17)

    Becoming Someone Becoming Someone
    reviews: 8
    ratings: 9 (avg rating 4.56)

    GUD: Greatest Uncommon Denominator, Issue 4 GUD: Greatest Uncommon Denominator, Issue 4
    reviews: 4
    ratings: 9 (avg rating 4.44)

    The Best of Fiction on the Web The Best of Fiction on the Web
    reviews: 3
    ratings: 3 (avg rating 4.67)

    2022 Reading Challenge

    2022 Reading Challenge
    Anne has read 2 books toward their goal of 100 books.
    hide
    2 of 100 (2%)
    view books
    Picture
    Annecdotal is where real life brushes up against the fictional.  
    Picture
    Annecdotist is the blogging persona of Anne Goodwin: 
    reader, writer,

    slug-slayer, tramper of moors, 
    recovering psychologist, 
    struggling soprano, 
    author of three fiction books.

    LATEST POSTS HERE
    I don't post to a schedule, but average  around ten reviews a month (see here for an alphabetical list), 
    some linked to a weekly flash fiction, plus posts on my WIPs and published books.  

    Your comments are welcome any time any where.

    Get new posts direct to your inbox ...

    Enter your email address:

    or click here …

    RSS Feed


    Picture

    Tweets by @Annecdotist
    Picture
    New short story, “My Dirty Weekend”
    Picture
    Let’s keep in touch – subscribe to my newsletter
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture

    Popular posts

    • Compassion: something we all need
    • Do spoilers spoil?
    • How to create a convincing fictional therapist
    • Instructions for a novel
    • Looking at difference, embracing diversity
    • Never let me go: the dilemma of lending books
    • On loving, hating and writers’ block
      On Pop, Pirates and Plagiarism
    • READIN' for HER reviews
    • Relishing the cuts
    • The fast first draft
    • The tragedy of obedience
    • Writers and therapy: a love-hate relationship?

    Categories/Tags

    All
    Animals
    Annecdotist Hosts
    Annecdotist On Tour
    Articles
    Attachment Theory
    Author Interviews
    Becoming Someone
    Being A Writer
    Blogging
    Bodies
    Body
    Bookbirthday
    Books For Writers
    Bookshops
    CB Book Group
    Character
    Childhood
    Christmas
    Classics
    Climate Crisis
    Coming Of Age
    Counsellors Cafe
    Creative Writing Industry
    Creativity
    Cumbria
    Debut Novels
    Disability
    Editing
    Emotion
    Ethics
    Ethis
    Family
    Feedback And Critiques
    Fictional Psychologists & Therapists
    Food
    Friendship
    Futuristic
    Gender
    Genre
    Getting Published
    Giveaways
    Good Enough
    Grammar
    Gratitude
    Group/organisational Dynamics
    Hero’s Journey
    History
    Humour
    Identity
    Illness
    Independent Presses
    Institutions
    International Commemorative Day
    Jane Eyre
    Kidney Disease
    Language
    LGBTQ
    Libraries
    Live Events
    Lyrics For The Loved Ones
    Marketing
    Matilda Windsor
    Memoir
    Memory
    Mental Health
    Microfiction
    Motivation
    Music
    MW Prequel
    Names
    Narrative Voice
    Nature / Gardening
    Networking
    Newcastle
    Nonfiction
    Nottingham
    Novels
    Pandemic
    Peak District
    Perfect Match
    Poetry
    Point Of View
    Politics
    Politics Current Affairs
    Presentation
    Privacy
    Prizes
    Psychoanalytic Theory
    Psychology
    Psycholoists Write
    Psychotherapy
    Race
    Racism
    Rants
    Reading
    Real Vs Imaginary
    Religion
    Repetitive Strain Injury
    Research
    Reviewing
    Romance
    Satire
    Second Novels
    Settings
    Sex
    Shakespeare
    Short Stories General
    Short Stories My Published
    Short Stories Others'
    Siblings
    Snowflake
    Somebody's Daughter
    Stolen Summers
    Storytelling
    Structure
    Sugar And Snails
    Technology
    The
    The Guestlist
    Therapy
    TikTok
    TNTB
    Toiletday
    Tourism
    Toxic Positivity
    Transfiction
    Translation
    Trauma
    Unconscious
    Unconscious, The
    Underneath
    Voice Recognition Software
    War
    WaSBihC
    Weather
    Work
    Writing Process
    Writing Technique

    Archives

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013

    Picture
    BLOGGING COMMUNITIES
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos used under Creative Commons from havens.michael34, romana klee, mrsdkrebs, Kyle Taylor, Dream It. Do It., adam & lucy, dluders, Joybot, Hammer51012, jorgempf, Sherif Salama, eyspahn, raniel diaz, E. E. Piphanies, scaredofbabies, Nomadic Lass, paulternate, Tony Fischer Photography, archer10 (Dennis), slightly everything, impbox, jonwick04, country_boy_shane, dok1, Out.of.Focus, U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service - Midwest Region, Elvert Barnes, guillenperez, Richard Perry, jamesnaruke, Juan Carlos Arniz Sanz, El Tuerto, kona99, maveric2003, !anaughty!, Patrick Denker, David Davies, hamilcar_south, idleformat, Dave Goodman, Sharon Mollerus, photosteve101, La Citta Vita, A Girl With Tea, striatic, carlosfpardo, Damork, Elvert Barnes, UNE Photos, jurvetson, quinn.anya, BChristensen93, Joelk75, ashesmonroe, albertogp123, >littleyiye<, mudgalbharat, Swami Stream, Dicemanic, lovelihood, anyjazz65, Tjeerd, albastrica mititica, jimmiehomeschoolmom