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About the author and blogger ...

Anne Goodwin’s drive to understand what makes people tick led to a career in clinical psychology. That same curiosity now powers her fiction.
A prize-winning short-story writer, she has published three novels and a short story collection with small independent press, Inspired Quill. Her debut novel, Sugar and Snails, was shortlisted for the 2016 Polari First Book Prize.
Away from her desk, Anne guides book-loving walkers through the Derbyshire landscape that inspired Charlotte Brontë’s Jane Eyre.
Subscribers to her newsletter can download a free e-book of award-winning short stories.

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Good Grief for writers?

1/9/2014

21 Comments

 
Pictureeven my dahlias are weeping
This weekend’s post from Safia Moore at Top of the Tent, on the motif of loss in Seamus Heaney’s life and poetry, reminded me I’d been meaning to do a post of my own on the theme of grief in fiction and those who create it. While, with reviews of twelve novels I’m hoping to publish this month, I might regret it, the first day of September with autumn creeping upon us seems a good time to revisit my notes and transform them into a proper post.

My first post last month was a review of a novel about a family trying to come to terms with the death of a child. Its author, Carys Bray, told me that her own experience of losing a child, albeit in different circumstances, had contributed to her interest in grief and its effects on people. Unresolved grief was the trigger for Janet Watson’s memoir of her adolescence, Nothing Ever Happens in Wentworth. Yet, for many of us, the relationship between grief and loss in our own lives and on the page is less transparent.

Pictureas is the angel
The shadow of death hangs over a lot of my reading. In addition to Carys Bray’s novel, This Is the Water and The Cold Cold Sea both feature the death of a child.  Those Who Save Us and A Sixpenny Song begin with the death of a parent. The Other Side of You is about arrested grief and Alys, Always is about grief exploited. I could go on, but it would probably be easier to pick out those novels I’ve reviewed that don’t reference loss at some level.  Death is as much part of life as living is.

Yet I wouldn’t go so far as to say that unhappiness in literature is inherently superior to happiness. Anna Elliott has written a convincing defence of happy – or, at least, not sad – in relation to endings and Emma Darwin counsels novice writers against jumping on the bandwagon (although she’d never stoop to such a cliché) of grief and death on the assumption it will give their work gravitas.  This is one way where the diktat of write what (at least, the emotions) you know should hold sway, and fiction as an excuse for an outpouring of unprocessed emotion or a writer dictating what the reader must feel has a good chance of provoking the opposite reaction in me.

On the other hand, some familiarity with grief might give our writing greater depth. For some, it’s also served as the trigger to make space our lives for writing: there’s nothing like a loss to help us clarify what matters.  Monica Ali began her debut novel, Brick Lane, straight after her grandfather’s funeral.  Harriet Lane has said that she became a novelist only because she had to give up her career as a journalist after developing problems with her sight.

Some would take that a stage further, arguing that grief is the very foundation of a writer’s art. Posting back in January on Writer Unboxed, Therese Walsh suggested that:

Most artists are fundamentally inconsolable. That’s why they keep doing it.

That one word, inconsolable (borrowed from the actor Emma Thompson), speaks volumes, pointing to a loss that is more character-trait than life-event, something we live with rather than recover from. It reminds me of a quote from my favourite collection of psychoanalytic case studies that emphasises the enduring sense of grief:

My experience is that closure is an extraordinarily compelling fantasy of mourning. It is the fiction that we can love, lose, suffer and then do something to permanently end our sorrow. We want to believe we can reach closure because grief can surprise and disorder us – even years after our loss. (Stephen Grosz, The Examined Life, p209)


The human need for consolation has inspired some of the finest classical music. You can’t get much better than the In Paradisum from Faure’s Requiem, from which I drew inspiration for a musical flash, or Verdi’s terror-inducing Dies Irae. Yet sometimes the profane can be more powerful, as in this well-known ditty from Monty Python.
I’ll leave you with the links to some of my own short fiction which features bereavement: George and Pat Forever is a lighter take on the subject; The Beach Where He Found It has a somewhat upbeat ending; Melanie’s Last Tune focuses on the yearning; and The Wilsons Go Shopping is, to me, the most poignant of them all – but you might see them differently. Plus, my short story newly published today, Stepping into Dan’s Shoes, is concerned with a different kind of loss. I’d be interested in your views on that or any other aspect of this post.
Thanks for reading. I'd love to know what you think. If you've enjoyed this post, you might like to sign up via the sidebar for regular email updates and/or my quarterly Newsletter.
21 Comments
Terry Tyler
1/9/2014 12:08:49 pm

I loved the story, thanks for that!

Reply
Annecdotist
2/9/2014 04:19:24 am

Thanks for reading, Terry. It's always great to get feedback.

Reply
Charli Mills
1/9/2014 05:27:59 pm

What I was going to say flew out my brain after I clicked over to read Dan's Shoes. That's a powerful story. The crafting of it, too--the way you weave the interview with the deportation really moves the story along.

Emotions are tricky. In writing, too. It's not easy to convey into words let alone a compelling story. It would be a (grievous) mistake to write about grief and death thinking it will make a story worthier. Grief itself is slippery, let alone making it real in fiction. Great post!

Reply
Annecdotist
2/9/2014 04:23:09 am

Glad you liked it, Charli. That's a great phrase "grief is slippery".
Most people are familiar now with Elizabeth Kubler Ross's five stages of grief and, while I think they've furthered our understanding of the conflicting emotions, when you're in the middle of it it doesn't feel so clear cut.

Reply
Safia link
1/9/2014 11:12:16 pm

Many thanks for the mention and link, Anne. I really loved this quote: Most artists are fundamentally inconsolable. That’s why they keep doing it.
I look forward to clicking on some of your links including your latest short story - you are a prolific writer - how wonderful that you still find time to write such stimulating blog posts!

Reply
Annecdotist
2/9/2014 04:25:07 am

You're welcome, Safia. Thanks for prompting this. I was really pleased I found that quote – there's a lot in it.
Thanks for your support.

Reply
Gargi link
2/9/2014 02:39:28 am

I tend towards writing humour so stories featuring bereavement are not for me. I read such stories but even if I wrote about them I wouldn’t be able to tackle the subject with the right amount of seriousness!
And I loved “Stepping into Dan’s Shoes”! The title is great – literal and metaphorical too.

Reply
Annecdotist
2/9/2014 04:31:38 am

Thanks for your feedback, Gargi. I'm the opposite, I find humour difficult to write, although I'm hoping to build it in more with my next project. But I don't think even serious subjects always have to be treated with reverence. It's difficult to pull off, but I do admire writers who can joke about serious stuff without it coming across as juvenile. Perhaps something along the lines of that clip from Goodness Gracious Me one of your readers posted on your blog?

Reply
geoff link
3/9/2014 10:33:07 am

Now this really resonates, Anne. My writing only began once my father died; I never wrote creatively (at least not since school) until the summer after he died in 2005. Part of the grieving process maybe. I spent some time from then until soon after my mother died in 2010 reading about adult orphans and how misunderstood the grief of losing a parent as an adult can be. The assumption is that, since it is the natural order of things and you are no longer a child, you should process it easily enough. I found this at work. Loads of sympathy for a week, two, maybe a month but then a sense that 'time to move on'. The five stages should be condensed into as short a period as possible. Had either parent been murdered or killed in an accident, say, then the sympathy would have extended but a 'natural' death post 75, well, hey, and...? Your point is?
I started my second book, God Bothering to look at a parent's death and its impact on an adult child - the book went another way though there is that theme in there - because it fascinated me (consumed is perhaps too strong a word). So when I'm asked (if I'm asked) why I write its genesis was grief essentially, a way of linking back to my father, to do something he loved Why I continue is different but that's where it came from, the initial urge. Funny old things, posts - I didn't expect to write that!

Reply
Annecdotist
3/9/2014 01:19:42 pm

Thanks for sharing, Geoff, your experience is truly moving.
I think one sure thing about bereavement is that it doesn't affect us the way we expect it to. When I was working in mental health services and a family member died I was furious that the special leave policy allowed only three days. Of course, I could take sick leave, and everyone was very supportive around that, but the point is that I wasn't sick, just recognising I needed to take care of myself and wasn't in a position to do emotionally demanding work.
I suppose we have a work culture where people are supposed to perform like machines.
And lots of people remark on a feeling orphaned when their parents die, despite being grown-up.

Reply
Charli Mills
4/9/2014 03:39:23 pm

Adult orphans. I hadn't heard the phrase, but that makes sense and captures the capacity of grief. Your writing always feels so full of life. Maybe it takes knowing grief to capture that on the page.

Reply
Annecdotist
5/9/2014 04:41:36 am

Thanks for that, Charli. I also think there can be release in becoming an orphan for some. It would be quite unusual, I think, to reach middle age without experiencing some grief.

Trish Orr link
4/9/2014 12:00:44 pm

What I've recently learned about grief after losing a dearly loved pet is that suppressing the feelings that come up, even after some time has passed, is detrimental to the creative impulse, which might seem obvious to some, but wasn't to me at least not until recently. Suppressing memories, visual images, etc.. just leads to numbness. In allowing myself to recall detailed instances of her life, I have discovered what can only be described as a tender beauty that transforms the smallest things and inspires a unique creative perspective..for instance, she loved wild strawberries. There are some tucked in the courtyard in front of my duplex. Now, when I look out the window, even though I can't actually see the tiny berries, the yard is alive in my mind, with those brilliant red jewels.

Reply
Charli Mills
4/9/2014 03:43:06 pm

Trish, I was really moved by what you describe as a tender beauty. Maybe that is why some writing feels off--either the writer is suppressed or has not yet experienced the gift that comes from feeling the pain of grief. But your writing, even in this comment posted her, is exquisite.

Reply
Annecdotist
5/9/2014 04:44:31 am

Thanks for sharing, Trish. I think you make an important point in that we have to go through the experience to really know it, it's not something we can know about from the outside.
It can be quite a challenge to allow oneself to have one's emotions but, in the end, I think it's the only way.

Reply
Norah Colvin link
5/9/2014 06:33:25 am

Hi Anne, What a great post that wends it's way through the complexity of grief like a spider drawing all the threads together and creating all the links. You have elicited a number of very insightful comments in response to your thoughtful article and I'm not sure that I can add much more to the discussion of grief, though I am an adult orphan and have lost many other people close to me - sister, nieces, aunts and uncles, friends - more than I wish to count.
I appreciate the quote by Stephen Grosz. I still feel incredibly sad about my sister's death. She was much too young and suffered far too much in life. I'm especially sad that her children will have few memories of her, and none of them will be of her as a well person. My Dad caused as much or more pain in his life than he did joy, so my grieving is for that pain rather than his loss and the lack of resolve for many of the issues. My Mum lived a long life and would have suffered hardship through much of it. She enjoyed her later years and went ready and happy. Unfortunately the executors of her will have been insensitive towards family members who would have liked opportunities for reminiscing and obtaining a sense of 'group closure'. I guess what I'm saying is that the path of grief is not the same in each instance or for each individual. While the five stages of Kubler Ross may establish guide posts, the paths past each my wind and twist in various ways.
I loved reading the stories you linked in the last paragraph. George and Pat is a very touching and poignant story. I love the way you describe her passing. She seems happy to go. I have read and commented on The Beach Where he Found It and Melanie previously. The Wilsons' link was broken (when I tried it anyway) and I read Dan's story for the first time.
Anne, you have such a wonderful gift for storytelling I really enjoy your style. We mentioned once before having to be explicit and obscure and I think you are the master of suggestion. Dan's story is superbly told with hints and suggestions that lead us to wonder but in the end you paint the sad situation very deftly. I like the way the story is told in the first person, and the conclusion is very appropriate. Congratulations on its publication.

Reply
Annecdotist
5/9/2014 12:55:51 pm

Thank you, Norah. I like the idea of luring you in to my spider's web – promise not to eat you. You make an important point about how each bereavement is different and sometimes it's grieving not what's lost but what might have been. Thanks for sharing your experience, I do remember you saying a little about this elsewhere, especially regarding your sister and of course your mother's recent death, perhaps that was another post I should've linked to here?
Thanks for flagging up that broken link – I've now fixed it.
Glad you liked Dan's story. As ever, I'm most grateful for your endorsement of and support for my fiction.

Reply
Norah Colvin link
7/9/2014 04:41:11 am

Thanks Anne. No, I had no post that you should have linked to.Thanks also for fixing the link. I have just been over and read about the Wilsons. Such a sad story. I hadn't expected the ending at all. I can understand why Dad was stopped in his tracks, unable to continue packing the shopping. As always, a great story well written and very emotive.

Annecdotist
7/9/2014 12:38:02 pm

Thanks for reading, Norah. I do like that story but my only reservation about it is the Christmas setting might put people off. I know it makes it extra poignant but it's not all that palatable to flag it as a story for Christmas.

Tracey Scott-Townsend link
31/3/2015 03:52:05 am

Gosh, Anne, I've only just read this post of yours.
Yes, this really resonates with me. In fact, to some extent I feel guilty when anything bad happens because I know I'm going to reap the experience in my writing (it used to be my visual art).

I can relate to that idea of the artist being fundamentally unconsolable, although that makes me sound like a right misery-guts. And I'm not!

Reply
Annecdotist
1/4/2015 02:23:08 am

Thanks for time travelling back to this post, Tracey, and glad it resonates for you. I really liked that line about being unconsolable – I do think that we sometimes have experiences that will always hurt us, but that doesn't mean constantly going around with a long face. I also sometimes have that thought "this will be good for my writing", but sometimes I'm too locked into the misery of the moment to recognise that.

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