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About the author and blogger ...

Anne Goodwin’s drive to understand what makes people tick led to a career in clinical psychology. That same curiosity now powers her fiction.
A prize-winning short-story writer, she has published three novels and a short story collection with small independent press, Inspired Quill. Her debut novel, Sugar and Snails, was shortlisted for the 2016 Polari First Book Prize.
Away from her desk, Anne guides book-loving walkers through the Derbyshire landscape that inspired Charlotte Brontë’s Jane Eyre.
Subscribers to her newsletter can download a free e-book of award-winning short stories.

TELL ME MORE

I’m fuming (furious, irate, incensed, enraged, seething, mad, livid, cross)

17/4/2020

13 Comments

 
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Life’s changed so quickly, it’s been hard to keep track. I’ll admit my initial response was childishly self-centred. Woe is me, my favourite conference is cancelled; I won’t be able to give my talk and sell half a dozen more books. But, soon after, I saw the point when large gatherings were banned (although it was a shame my Wednesday afternoon choir couldn’t do its final concert). Next came concern for the mental well-being of those whose lives were restricted and livelihoods lost.

I felt grief when schools and pubs and restaurants were closed, despite not having much use for any of them; and guilt when a minor health issue kept me from my usual outdoor volunteering, with staffing already low as the over 70s were advised to stay at home. I welcomed the lockdown in bringing some order to an atmosphere of chaos and confusion, despite being appalled when I saw it happening to my publisher in Spain. I found a host of silver linings and even admired the most egotistical prime minister and the most extreme right wing government’s management of the crisis. And then the doctors and nurses began to die.
I totally get staying at home to protect the health service, but it’s easy for me to play my part. Sharing a large house with only one other easy-going person, is a world away from being stuck in a tiny flat with a partner prone to temper tantrums and a crowd of hyperactive kids. Watering an ailing pot plant cannot compare to wandering a garden where I watch birds, bees and butterflies; where I grow fruit, vegetables and wildflowers. While I miss my longer walks in the Peak District, I know that, with fields across the road, I’m luckier than most. An hour’s exercise within walking distance of home isn’t so pleasant in areas where green spaces have been eroded, partly through short-sighted planning decisions that put profit before people.
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I'm so lucky to see this from my desk.
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I'm so lucky that I can take my morning walk here.
Ah, but you say, this pandemic was unprecedented; these consequences could not have been foreseen. Perhaps, but we’ve had decades of politics to protect the rich and punish the poor. The bedroom tax ensured that only the better off would have the option of self-isolating a symptomatic family member away from the rest.
 
And now it’s the low-paid workers who are keeping us going: supermarket staff; refuse collectors; delivery men and women on zero-hours contracts. Suddenly, without choice or consultation, they’re on the frontline.
 
Parallels with wartime are ever present, and often misused, but I can’t help thinking we prepare for war much more successfully than we’ve prepared for this. Because the government should have seen this coming, but they’ve repeatedly done too little too late. Leaving the EU on 31st January took precedence over clubbing together with other European nations to purchase personal protection equipment for staff in health and social care. The Prime Minister’s ego – or at least his public persona as optimistic and upbeat – delayed the decision to put the country into lockdown, despite the lessons from Italy and Spain. Tracking back further, billions have been wasted on missiles that will never be used while stockpiling PPE was vetoed as costing too much.
 
And now doctors and nurses and staff in care homes are paying the price. Doctors who, while eventually earning a decent salary, begin their careers with massive student-loan debts. Nurses who were denied a pay rise while politicians voted to give theirs a boost. Staff in social care paid a pittance because wiping bums in a manner that preserves the dignity of both parties is deemed less important than managing a hedge fund or owning a football club. Many of these heroic workers come from the vilified European Union or have felt the brunt of racism and the hostile environment to immigration of which this government was once so proud.
You know all this, I don’t have to tell you. And we all need to stick to the rules while keeping going the best way we can. For now, I’m stoking my anger because, when this is over, I want lessons to have been learned about who is fit to govern and what government should do. I want us to undo the damage that began with Margaret Thatcher’s famous phrase There’s no such thing as society. Yeah, what would you have to say about that now? It’s not what I anticipated when I began this post, but there’s a great excuse for me to read to the opening of “The Witch’s Funeral”, one of the stories in my collection, Becoming Someone.

I wrote this about a week ago but left it to see if my anger would fester or fade away. It seems it peaks on Thursdays when the hypocrites gather to clap for the NHS. Don’t get me wrong: I was moved when I saw the footage of people out on their balconies or leaning out of their windows of the high-rise apartments around a hospital in Italy – or was it Spain? And I don’t begrudge those who feel a sense of solidarity with their neighbours: it must be great for those who are socially isolated and for helping children understand why they can't see their friends.

This video is amazing!
Diversity is amazing ????#YouClapForMeNow pic.twitter.com/ogI7be80uj

— Dev Sharma MYP (@DevSharmaMYP) April 15, 2020
But, let’s face it, most aren’t clapping for the healthcare heroes; they’re clapping to feel better about themselves. And I might have joined them if I didn’t live in a former mining town which turned Tory at the last election but one. I’ll shop for my neighbours and greet them warmly (at a distance) if we meet on our exercise walk. But I won’t pander to the delusions of those who elected a government that prides itself on hostility to migrants and wants to privatise the NHS.
 
Some would argue that this isn’t the time for politics; if not now, when? The NHS has always been political. How we support or don’t support the vulnerable is political. As is how we divide up the common pot.
My American friend Charli Mills is much better than I am at creating literature from emotion while it’s still painful and raw. But this week’s prompt for a 99-word story couldn’t come better for me. While I have a much-loved crazy character – who, along with her “colleagues”, ran amok earlier this week in response to D Avery’s Characters Okay Morale Corral – this is where I needed to go. I’m no poet, but I’m rather proud of this piece:
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One Thursday evening

Out they poured from their houses
Paused on their doorsteps
Ready to proclaim
Their support
The ritual way
With their hands.
Primed by the media
The government briefings
The slogans targeted at their hearts,
They knew what was needed,
They’d done it before.
In common cause with their neighbours,
Albeit socially distanced
In their separate booths,
They picked up the pens
They marked their crosses
In the box
For the party that promised
To rid dear Blighty
Of the infection
The virus
The scourge of immigration
Of social justice
Of healthcare free at the point of delivery for all.
 


Excuse the plethora of links in the earlier part of this post; they’re partly here as reminders to me. Do check out the videos if you have time. Click on the images for my other posts on the coronavirus pandemic.
My fellow IQ author, Clare Stevens, has put together a wonderful post on how Inspired Quill, stranded in Spain, is keeping going through the lockdown. Supporting them has just got a whole lot easier with four short story collections – including mine – discounted when purchased in e-book format directly from the publisher.

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Thanks for reading. I'd love to know what you think. If you've enjoyed this post, you might like to sign up via the sidebar for regular email updates and/or my quarterly Newsletter.
13 Comments
Marje link
17/4/2020 01:13:31 pm

I agree the Tory government has a lot to answer for. We should have gone into lockdown much earlier. I don't clap for the NHS because I feel it is not helping their plight. In fact my daughter mentioned to me today that people were clapping on Westminster Bridge and not considering their social distance. How can this help the NHS? This is a nightmare and the nightmare continues.

Reply
Anne Goodwin
17/4/2020 05:20:42 pm

It's hard taking a stand against a popular trend, especially one that looks benign on the surface. So I admire you for opting out, although I do see it increasingly questioned – at least on Twitter. That's where I saw the Westminster Bridge fiasco from yesterday: playgrounds closed to kids and cemeteries to mourners yet people can mill around taking selfies while the police look on. Bonkers!
Thanks for visiting and hope you're keeping safe and sane.

Reply
Charli Mills
18/4/2020 12:20:51 am

If not now, when? It is political when human needs can't be met. You can't allow your NHS to turn into the shit-show the US health care system is. If this crisis shows us anything, it is the folly of capitalistic greed. Even now that the US is number one (wasn't that Trump's promise?) in COVID-19 deaths there's a push to "save the economy" even if it means more deaths. I can't wait for November to vote our abomination out of office. I'm lucky to live in a region that has a research university and intact community, but it feels like the Twilight Zone. Powerful writing to speak from your anger in a thoughtful way. Thank you for giving a space to vent so I can keep on encouraging writers through these days. And I thoroughly enjoyed your characters visits to the Saloon!

Reply
Anne Goodwin
20/4/2020 09:27:40 am

Thanks, Charli. I’m lucky in many ways about where I live but I tend to forget (deny?) that the political atmosphere does indeed impact on my mental well-being (another major factor is living so far from the sea) – of course that matters more when I’m stuck at home (not that I leave it all that much even in normal times). I’m always uplifted around election time when I go to volunteer in the Peak District: like much of the countryside here, it’s predominantly right-wing, but there are pockets of socialism, including the hippie-style community bordering the track between where I park my car and our ranger centre. I get such a boost from seeing those vote Labour and anti-Brexit signs after driving down roads flanked with blue.

I hope you’re able to evict your Narcissist-in-Chief in November. Since you left your comments we’ve seen Trump tweeting in support of the lockdown protests – as if his job is to protect the economy (a.k.a. his business friends) at the expense of saving lives. Will people take home the message that capitalism can’t cure and secure us? Unfortunately people don’t learn very well when we are frightened. But even this pessimist is holding onto a shred of hope.

Reply
D. Avery link
18/4/2020 04:56:29 pm

Common cause my ass. (What four letter word, starts with 'H', rhymes with 'great'?) Social distancing in our voting booths indeed.
Yes, "if not now when?: when this is over, I want lessons to have been learned about who is fit to govern and what government should do."
If we all don't learn from this and start doing better, well, I don't need to tell you how crazy that would be.
I loved your 99 words, after initial surprise at the form, and appreciate it even more for the background in your post. You did well by your anger.

Reply
Anne Goodwin
20/4/2020 09:38:47 am

Thank you, my friend. I wasn’t sure my flash would translate across the Atlantic as I suspect clapping for healthcare workers is a European thing? And, yes, strange for me to go for poetry but that seemed to be where it belongs. While the 99-word story constraint helped me compose it, I think it works better with a few lines in the middle cropped.
Apologies for the delayed acknowledgement of your comment – I’m afraid my anger almost silenced me over the weekend but I’m hoping it will find more focus in fiction this week. Hope yours goes okay it can’t be easy teaching from home.

Reply
Jeanne Lombardo link
18/4/2020 05:32:54 pm

As Charli indicated, this post so accurately reflects the reality in the US. And your title literally took the words out of my own mouth. Like you, I live in an area that leans right...I've identified one other couple in the neighborhood that finds our "shitshow" (thank you Charli) of a response to this crisis utterly tragic...even criminal. But like you, I get to wander in my big "yarden" and along beautiful paths and trails. I'm so lucky, but the thought of a dear friend who entered assisted living the day before lockdown torments me. She is indeed in solitary confinement. Thank you for such a passionate and well-thought-out post ...and poem. Inspiring how you have channeled your rage into your always eloquent passages here.

Reply
Anne Goodwin
20/4/2020 09:45:48 am

Thank you, Jeanne, lovely to have you visit here again and it’s so supportive to have my anger heard. I wish it didn’t have to be like this, but it’s consoling not being alone in my rage. Gosh, so tough for your friend – hard enough to go into care at the best of times but now it must be so disorientating and scary. So many deaths in care homes here which don’t appear in the official statistics because our government abandoned testing – and so many underpaid and undervalued care workers without adequate PPE.
If only this had come in the autumn and you could have evicted your Narcissist-in-Chief before the death toll got too bad. Take care of you and yours!

Reply
Norah Colvin
19/4/2020 01:16:34 pm

So much hypocrisy. So much action delayed and denied. Too much denial. We'd better learn out of this but I can't say I'm entirely hopeful. Insightful post and well expressed, Anne. Your poem is a perfect vehicle for your thoughts.

Reply
Anne Goodwin
20/4/2020 09:48:11 am

Thank you, Norah, and apologies for the delayed response. I’ve been so angry this weekend, but I’m hoping I’ll be able to channel it into fiction again this week. I’ve scheduled a tweet for Earth Day on Wednesday highlighting a flash fiction story about blood on our hands through turning a blind eye to the climate emergency. I’m looking forward to reworking it to fit our current crisis. Hope you able to stay safe and sane.

Reply
Anne Goodwin
20/4/2020 09:11:11 am

It is perhaps too early to conclude for sure that Johnson, Hancock and the government’s entire team of scientific and medical advisers were caught asleep at the wheel. But the fact that Johnson and Hancock themselves, in common with much of the Downing Street staff, would go on to contract the virus or suffer symptoms, further suggests that people at the top had not been sufficiently on their guard.

Now, 11 weeks on from the first cases being confirmed in the UK on 31 January – a period during which more than 14,000 people (and probably several thousands more once care home fatalities are counted) in the UK have died from Covid-19 – and with the country in lockdown, the economy facing prolonged recession as a result, schools closed, and no sign of an end in sight – hard questions have to be asked.

#

In a speech on Brexit in Greenwich on 3 February, he made clear his views on Wuhan-style lockdowns. “We are starting to hear some bizarre autarkic rhetoric,” he said.

”Humanity needs some government somewhere that is willing at least to make the case powerfully for freedom of exchange, some country ready to take off its Clark Kent spectacles and leap into the phone booth and emerge with its cloak flowing as the supercharged champion of the right of the populations of the Earth to buy and sell freely among each other.”

#

Germany, she pointed out, has 29 intensive care beds per 100,000 people, compared with six in the UK.

#

“An early over-reliance on academic modelling also resulted in a lack of experienced frontline NHS clinicians – in other words, the people who really understand the day-to-day challenges our hospitals and health service face – from feeding into the initial Covid-19 action plan,” he said. “This has manifested itself amongst other things in the slowness of providing adequate PPE for frontline NHS staff and in the lack of virus testing for healthcare staff in the earlier part of the outbreak.”

#

Indeed, many warnings have been given in the past about the viral dangers facing humanity. “Given the continual emergence of new pathogens ... and the ever-increasing connectedness of our world, there is a significant probability that a large and lethal pandemic will occur in our lifetime,” Bill Gates predicted several years ago. “And it will have the impact of a nuclear war,” he warned, while urging nations to start stockpiling antiviral drugs and therapies. If only.

#

“There is no question that we were insufficiently prepared,” Nurse says. “We had been warned a few years ago when reports made it clear that the UK was not ready to combat a major flu pandemic and we did not take up that warning. As a result, we were caught out.”

#

China’s experience should have provided a grim template for western countries to use to prepare. The speed with which Wuhan’s crisis had intensified showed that a relatively advanced medical system could be swamped. Within three weeks there were over 64,000 people infected and 1,000 dead.

#

Trump insists the US is turning a corner, and has tried to blame – among other targets – the WHO for failing to fully raise the alarm, and has stripped it of its US funding.

#


READ THE FULL STORY:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/apr/18/how-did-britain-get-its-response-to-coronavirus-so-wrong

Reply
Clare Goodwin
2/6/2020 11:47:36 am

Like you, I despaired when BoJo the clown was elected and Brexit was going ahead despite the lies they told us, on a wave of deeply troubling intolerance to others. Like you, I knuckled down and believed we were ‘all in it together’. It took the arrogance and lies of Cummings Johnson, and seemingly the entire cabinet, to shake me. But shake me it has. I’ve often disagreed and been infuriated with this government, but I don’t think I’ve ever been truly scared by their incompetence and disregard for humanity. By their inability to be contrite and their shameless ordering us to ‘Move on’. Selfishly, that must be because finally I, a middle class white woman, could be injured by them. And the by-product of the Cummings fiasco, is that it makes one question everything about them. I’m overjoyed that a significant number of people who voted them in, are beginning to see what they’ve allowed to happen. Thanks, Anne, for expressing what many of us feel xx

Reply
Anne
3/6/2020 03:15:14 pm

Thanks so much for your virtual visit, your support and the encouraging notion that some who voted them in are changing their minds. But can they can sustain their anger for another 4 1/2 years? And what depths will these clowns have to drop to in order for that to happen? It is scary: the biggest crisis we've faced in a century in the hands of the least competent government imaginable (until we look at what's happening right now in the US).
Take care, and save some energy for the Resistance!

Reply



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