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About the author and blogger ...

Anne Goodwin’s drive to understand what makes people tick led to a career in clinical psychology. That same curiosity now powers her fiction.
A prize-winning short-story writer, she has published three novels and a short story collection with small independent press, Inspired Quill. Her debut novel, Sugar and Snails, was shortlisted for the 2016 Polari First Book Prize.
Away from her desk, Anne guides book-loving walkers through the Derbyshire landscape that inspired Charlotte Brontë’s Jane Eyre.
Subscribers to her newsletter can download a free e-book of award-winning short stories.

TELL ME MORE

Is it time for gender-neutral toilets?

19/11/2015

12 Comments

 
In my years of blogging by the calendar, I’ve been particularly faithful to World Toilet Day on 19 November with its emphasis on the importance of clean and safe sanitation for global health, equality and well-being. My interest in this topic came from travelling in countries where toilet facilities can’t be taken for granted, and discovered that a blog post on the subject could play a small part in raising awareness of the issue. But for this year, I’d already decided to shift my focus away from toilets, or their lack of, in the Global South onto a toiletry provision nearer home, when I discovered that this would enable me to mark another international commemorative day dear to my heart on the following day.
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As someone who squirmed when my local swimming baths introduced mixed-use cubicles, I might not be a natural flag-waver for gender-neutral toilets. But I’ve used them in a school where our choir sometimes has rehearsals (I believe introduced as the more open area can help combat bullying) and I’ve read about their introduction to West Hollywood, the LGBT capital of southern California, and I’m sure I could adjust. Especially if it makes life easier for people at particularly high risk of suicide because, let’s face it, if your gender identity doesn’t coincide with your physical sex, or if you’re in the process of transitioning from one to the other, it’s likely to add an extra layer of stress to an already stressful existence if you face an impossible choice and the risk of ostracism every time you need the toilet, as the novel Sworn Virgin testifies. Individual stalls that can be used by either men or women or anyone in between would also eliminate those infuriating queues for “the ladies” when the male cubicles remain vacant.

The Transgender Day of Remembrance on 20 November has been established to memorialise transgender and gender nonconforming people who have died as a result of hate crimes. I can’t claim that gender-neutral toilets would have prevented any of these tragedies, but they might have made people’s lives just a tiny bit easier.
So what do you say, would you like to see more provision of gender-neutral toilets? For more of my thoughts on the peculiarities of gender, see this post from week five of the Sugar and Snails blog tour. You can learn more about the importance of safe sanitation in the Twitter stream #WorldToiletDay and The Transgender Day of Remembrance at #TDOR.

I was ready to post this, when I found the latest flash fiction challenge from Charli Mills in my inbox. I reckoned I could find a way of combining toilets, transgender stressors and dance:

I shuffle from one foot to the other like I’m dancing a jig. The pressure’s gone past painful, but still I hesitate. The dolly-peg man looks docile, but those arms could pack a punch. My flared skirt matches the other one, yet I know I won’t be welcomed behind that door. Almost wetting myself, I sneak into the cubicle. Hoisting up my skirt, pulling down my frilly knickers, I point my penis at the porcelain. Calm again, I reapply my lipstick before sashaying out. A woman glowers at me from her wheelchair. Welcome to my daily dance of shame.


I’m not sure whether this one will work out of context, but I’m pleased I had a go. Although it didn’t take me long, I did find it quite awkward to write – but I guess nowhere near as awkward as it would be to face this in the real world.

Thanks for reading. I'd love to know what you think. If you've enjoyed this post, you might like to sign up via the sidebar for regular email updates and/or my quarterly Newsletter.
12 Comments
Sacha Black
19/11/2015 09:35:06 pm

Interesting, I can remember the first time I used gender neutral toilets - it was a night club in leeds about a decade ago. I didn't know where to look!

I loved your flash. Would like to see more of that story too :)

Reply
sarah
19/11/2015 11:23:44 pm

Hahaha!

Reply
Annecdotist
20/11/2015 10:43:58 am

I always knew you were incredibly up-to-date, Sacha. Apart from in the school I mentioned, I've never come across them yet myself in this country.

Reply
sarah link
19/11/2015 11:30:36 pm

What a wonderful way to incorporate three different interests and observances. I knew about World Toilet Day (from you and Charli's prompt last year) but not Transgender Day of Remembrance. Thanks for this post. You did a great job with the flash. It doesn't read like it was awkward to write. And I think it fits the prompt perfectly. This is the beauty of the prompts--how everyone takes them in such vastly different directions.

Reply
Annecdotist
20/11/2015 10:46:28 am

Thanks, Sarah, it was sheer serendipity that I discovered TDOR, while looking for statistics on the increased numbers of attempted suicides amongst gender nonconforming young people (and didn't find exactly what I had been looking for) but an important day to mark.
And yes, Charli's prompts are themselves a celebration of diversity in the different ways that we respond!

Reply
Charli Mills
20/11/2015 05:27:54 am

For this reason alone, it's worth supporting gender-neutral toilets: "eliminate those infuriating queues for 'the ladies' when the male cubicles remain vacant." You might say it's a code of the west if the Ladies outnumber the Gents in line, both bathrooms are fair game. We have a lot of bathrooms that are shared in rural areas often because a place only offers one seat. Perhaps its a bigger issue in urban areas. BinderCon is a writing conference for women and gender non-conformists. I'm glad to be a part of that movement because, as I read on the blog link to the Day of Remembrance, its an often overlooked group even in the day of growing social awareness. It's helped me better understand gender identity issues and empathize with feeling one way, and looking another. We place too much emphasis of identity on looks. And it didn't bother me to share bathrooms at UCLA campus when the BinderCon organizers posted them as gender-neutral. A thoughtful flash followed your post, and reflects the pain of such a simple issue of using the toilet for one shamed by transgender. Interesting that the woman glaring is in a wheelchair because not that long ago, people with such disabilities were also unaccommodated by lack of access to toilets. That's why I'm glad BinderCon expands its definition of gender to be inclusive.

Reply
Annecdotist
20/11/2015 10:54:34 am

Good to hear that BinderCon is managing to be inclusive – I do think it's a difficult area if we're used to gender segregation and have different views of what defines a man or woman. In England, women will use the Gents if the queue for the Ladies gets too long, but there often seems to be a lot of anxiety and embarrassment about it.
What might have been unclear in my flash was that my character resolved the dilemma by using the disabled-person's toilet – another area where there might not be a queue but perhaps one shouldn't presume – that's what the dirty look was about. Sadly, I think it's still the case that supposedly wheelchair-accessible toilets aren't really accessible -- someone told me that if he was attending a function he had to phone in advance to check on the facilities in fine detail. It's actually another area that really annoys me as we've had a Disability Discrimination Act in place in this country for about ten years, perhaps more, but it's continually flouted.

Reply
Charli Mills
2/12/2015 05:19:32 am

There really is much angst around a common need -- the toilet.

Reply
geoff laptop link
21/11/2015 11:22:19 am

Let me be the male) voice of reason and say yes to gender neutral loos. Having a daughter had me very aware of the dilemma as she grew to a point where the which to use dilemma caused real embarrassment and parental concern. And yes why should women queue if a cubicle is free? The Transgender day is a splendid idea and your flash a lovely way to pinpoint the issue. We holidayed in Provincetown on Cape Cod during Mardi Gras when the kids were young teenagers and my daughter will never forget the 200 pound bemuscled Bo Peep who came in to the ladies to touch up his/her make up. Linda had to usher her out before she made a comment which while understandable perhaps emphasises the point about the dificulties

Reply
Annecdotist
21/11/2015 01:49:54 pm

Thanks for adding your perspective, Geoff. Must be quite a dilemma for a father out with a young daughter who isn’t ready to go into the Ladies’ alone.
I remember your blog post about the Mardi Gras, which sounded great, and so lucky for your children to have that education. I can't speak for Bo Peep of course, but I wonder if it would have been so terrible if your daughter had just come out with what was on her mind. Children’s curiosity rarely seems malicious – it could have been the start of a great friendship!!

Reply
Norah Colvin link
26/11/2015 11:54:05 pm

Interesting article, Anne, and an important, if difficult, topic. Your flash is brilliant and I think works well to create awareness. It could be printed on posters and displayed in "restrooms" everywhere. The inadequacy of numbers of ladies loos seems to be similar everywhere, in the west at least. The first time I heard of non-gendered toilets was in the TV show "Ally McBeal". The idea didn't enthuse me, but I can see how they would make life easier for many, and not just to shorten the length of queues for women's toilets. I can see that if children grow up with non-gender specific toilets they will become a non-issue. However people my age and older may find it difficult. There are some non-spefic toilets here, at parks and beaches, that all open out to the outdoors. I think that works well and makes them feel a bit safer. I'm not sure how comfortable I would feel going into an enclosed space the way many restrooms are arranged at the moment. Bec told me of some that offer a couple specific at each end, and then non-specific, including assessable cubicles, in the middle. That arrangement seems to cater for all quite well. I love that you have brought this issue out into the open.

Reply
Annecdotist
27/11/2015 09:21:14 am

Similarly, I'm not enthused by the idea personally, but could happily embrace it in the spirit of equality etc. I think it works perfectly with cubicles accessed directly from the outside, where I ignore the little stick figures anyway, but probably works less well here with our climate. I think the mixed model that Bec talks of would be ideal. I think it's important to acknowledge that some older women would be very uncomfortable with the shared space, and their (our) well-being also needs to be accounted for.

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