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About the author and blogger ...

Anne Goodwin’s drive to understand what makes people tick led to a career in clinical psychology. That same curiosity now powers her fiction.
A prize-winning short-story writer, she has published three novels and a short story collection with small independent press, Inspired Quill. Her debut novel, Sugar and Snails, was shortlisted for the 2016 Polari First Book Prize.
Away from her desk, Anne guides book-loving walkers through the Derbyshire landscape that inspired Charlotte Brontë’s Jane Eyre.
Subscribers to her newsletter can download a free e-book of award-winning short stories.

TELL ME MORE

Must one leave home to be a writer?

18/12/2013

12 Comments

 
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Have you ever stamped on a good idea, told yourself I can’t write that, what will people think? It’s hard enough being a writer without censoring your thoughts before you can even get them down on the page or screen, and your prose is likely to suffer when you’re busy trying not to offend the judge that sits in your head. But shaking off these inhibitions isn’t always easy, especially when they stem from our childhood notions of what’s right and wrong. That’s why I love this quote from Paul Theroux via Thought Catalog:

Notice how many of the Olympic athletes effusively thanked their mothers for their success? “She drove me to my practice at four in the morning,” etc. Writing is not figure skating or skiing. Your mother will not make you a writer. My advice to any young person who wants to write is: leave home.
Similarly, in an interview with Lisa Allardice for the Guardian Review, Alice Munro, the new Nobel laureate said:
[W]hen you are growing up you have to pull apart from what your mother wants or needs, you’ve got to go your own way
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Taking down one’s Athena posters or whatever’s the current equivalent and moving into a grotty flat with half a dozen friends is only the first stage of leaving home; psychological separation from our parents can be much trickier, and some don’t ever achieve it. How do writers break free of parental commandments to write as ourselves? Greg tells me Lorrie Moore told students to write to shock their parents and Emma Darwin sometimes recommends writers (see comments) imagine their parents are dead.

The metaphorical death of our parents is so essential to growing up it’s the stuff of myth and fairytales. The failure to separate can produce some interesting writing, too.

So what’s all this got to do with my newly published story, Had to Be You?  To say much more would spoil it; why not have a read and let me know what you think?

Thanks for reading. I'd love to know what you think. If you've enjoyed this post, you might like to sign up via the sidebar for regular email updates and/or my quarterly Newsletter.
12 Comments
Marie-Claire
19/12/2013 11:32:55 am

And what happens when you have left the nest and then they move in with you? They bring all the old angst and feelings- the head phones go on and the music gets loud again and the Writing? That is hard! I can't even metaphorically imagine the worst unless I want to feel guilty as well. So I dream of leaving home again it is the only way- a shed.

Reply
Annecdotist
20/12/2013 01:36:10 am

Oh yes, you have my sympathies. Get building that shed now!

Reply
Safia link
20/12/2013 03:28:41 am

Great post, Anne. In my case, I had to leave home to be a reader as well - my mum was forever telling me to get out of the house and get from fresh air instead of lying on my bed with a book under my nose! Plus, it was hard to find peace and quiet with younger siblings around - all praise to libraries. Sorry to hear you're under the weather. If you're really, really, bored, please visit my entry in an ex-pat blog contest and leave a comment: http://www.expatsblog.com/contests/835/sometimes-its-little-things-that-mean-the-most
So far, the toothpaste is a hit!

Reply
Annecdotist
20/12/2013 04:55:20 am

Good point, Safia. My mother encouraged me to read but only what she perceived as suitable! That's probably why my reading exploded when I got to university–that and a fabulous library.
Thanks for your sympathy, although my husband probably deserves it more with my cough keeping him awake all night.
I'm going to have a look at that blog now. Although I've never lived abroad, I have travelled for a few months at a time and think I know what it's like to miss those little things (and especially when you're not feeling so well).

Reply
Safia
20/12/2013 07:32:40 am

Many thanks for visiting and commenting on my entry, Anne - yours was the 21st comment and the UAE bloggers are currently in 3rd position. It was fun to be involved in this :-)

Reply
Norah Colvin link
23/12/2013 03:05:44 am

What an intriguing enticement to read! The issue you raise is certainly one that I also have grappled with. Although I don't like to think of my parents as dead (my mother is still living) I can see how writing as if they were could make a difference to what one writes. An interesting suggestion to consider. Thanks.

Reply
Annecdotist
23/12/2013 03:42:09 am

Thanks for your comment, Norah, and glad the post grabbed your attention! Yes, the concept can be a bit scary and/or not needed for some kinds of parents but some of us need to get away from their shadow.

Reply
Charli Mills link
27/3/2014 01:16:39 pm

Very interesting topic. I have a friend who writes, and several years after her parents passed on, her writing became more prolific, more introspective. She went from a career as a medical writer to writing a memoir. For me, I understand it in the metaphorical sense. Over the years I've worked hard at forgiving my parents for not protecting me from a childhood abuser. Most discomforting is that they still have a relationship with the man. It cost me my family of origin, but I did leave home 22 years ago. It gained me my voice. Yet, over the past decade, my parents have returned to my life. Last year they did something that triggered my sense of betrayal and my writing dried up. I knew I'd have to write about it, and I did. Now they aren't speaking to me but my writing is flowing splendidly. It's a complex subject and I'm glad you brought it up.

Reply
Charli Mills link
27/3/2014 01:34:15 pm

Just got back from reading, "Had to Be You." Excellent writing! Your details are sharp and vivid and the emotional journey in this short is akin to a complete "hero's journey." Not many writers can pull that off in a short. You did.

Reply
Annecdotist
28/3/2014 02:48:22 am

Thank you, Charli, for these lovely comments on my post and short story. I'm so glad they worked for you.
It's interesting that you've noticed your own and your friend's creativity improve with greater distance from your parents. When we come to recognise our parents' limitations, it can be a real struggle to work out how much they stem from ordinary human failings and how much they are really damaging, such as your parents' failure to protect you from, and take seriously, abuse. It's a notion that can really blow our minds – as I'm saying in my new post today http://annegoodwin.weebly.com/1/post/2014/03/ideas-that-blow-your-mind.html.
Thanks for sharing and I'm hoping that distancing is still proving fruitful for you and you continue to have the courage to claim your right to be separate.

Reply
D. Avery link
12/4/2017 01:31:21 am

Your thoughts here kept reminding me of a poem I wrote years ago. I thought then it would become a short story but was too young to write it. Still not sure what the story is.Here's the old poem:(Written away from home by the way)

Driven, by D. Avery

You can even forget you’re driving
On the familiar ways that lead to home
Secure in your surroundings, everything that’s known.
So some seek roads less traveled
Wind away into the distance for which they yearn
They even forget they’re driving, longing for return.

Reply
Annecdotist
13/4/2017 11:34:57 am

Oh, I love it when my thoughts spark something in others, and isn’t it great when we are reminded of something that was meaningful to us in the past. Thanks for sharing.




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