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Welcome

I started this blog in 2013 to share my reflections on reading, writing and psychology, along with my journey to become a published novelist.​  I soon graduated to about twenty book reviews a month and a weekly 99-word story. Ten years later, I've transferred my writing / publication updates to my new website but will continue here with occasional reviews and flash fiction pieces, and maybe the odd personal post.

ANNE GOODWIN'S WRITING NEWS

The Annethology Christmas message: Just say no!

7/12/2018

18 Comments

 
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Okay, so moaning about frenzied shopping and family fallouts is as integral to Christmas as turkey and tinsel and, for some, that’s part of the fun. But if the pain of Christmas surpasses your pleasure, I’ll let you into a secret: unless you have young children, or frail parents to whom you haven’t yet paid your dues – in which case, bookmark this post for when you’re free to prioritise yourself – you’re not obliged to join in. Okay, it can be tough to go against expectations, and it might require some negotiation with your nearest and dearest, but isn’t life too short to stick to the familiar, if the familiar isn’t what you want?
Presents

Who wouldn’t relish being gifted an attractively packaged collection of quality chocolates, socks or soaps? But twenty? Twelve? Even two might be excessive if you happen to confuse the sweetmeats with the soaps. You’re an adult, with your own money: if there was something you genuinely wanted, wouldn’t you have bought it by now? Surely you know that Christmas is a not-so-clandestine capitalist conspiracy. The same logic for giving as receiving, unless you gift homemade edibles with no expectation of reciprocation, in which case let me give you my address.



Alcohol

Oh, the joy of rolling from the pub to midnight mass, nipping out at half-time to squat behind a gravestone because you’ve consumed more beer than your bladder can hold. That’s all very well in adolescence, but if you find you can’t face the festivities sober, perhaps the festivities are at fault. Can you genuinely say your ideal day is one spent in an alcoholic blur?
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Magic

Do you treasure the memory of a special Christmas moment? Opening a stocking; a kiss under the mistletoe; rolling from the pub to midnight mass (see under Alcohol); barbecued fish on a tropical beach. Leave them in their place as memories; don’t try to recreate them every year. Spoiler alert: Santa is just make-believe, and magic a capitalist conspiracy to keep the masses in their place. If you go teary-eyed at the latest supermarket TV advert, have you forgotten that the word consumer is not a synonym for human being? Happiness can elude us if we go looking for it; often, the truly special moments are those that take us by surprise.

The meal

Isn’t there something 1950s perfect nuclear family about the nation(s) sitting down simultaneously to eat the same home-cooked meal? If a simple dish of rice and lentils strikes you as scarily subversive, perhaps it’s time to reconnect with your rebellious youth.

Family

If you’re researching a scene for your novel then, by all means, get stuck in there with your notebook and recording device. But don’t expect to escape unscathed once those buried rivalries surface. Better still, leave your travelling for when the roads are quieter and relationships less intense.

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Boxing Day

More people go to the shops on the day after Christmas than to church on the day itself. (No, I didn’t bother to check my facts on this one, but it’s probably true.) Unless getting footsore, jostled and dehydrated because you can’t bear to queue an hour for a cup of overpriced coffee, avoid it. Even if you bag a bargain, you’ve spent money on stuff you don’t need. But don’t think you’ll be better off engaging in that other traditional Boxing Day activity, the country walk, because everyone else who isn’t at the shops will be there too. Avoid the traffic and the crowds, and stay at home with a book. (Perhaps even one of mine, especially as, never mind the contents, they’re a pleasure to touch!) If you’ve taken my advice, and said no to the presents, all-day-alcohol, magic and meal, you’ll have had time for your walk on Christmas Day when you can have the hills almost to yourself.
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One possible exception: Secret Santa

Being compelled to buy a gift for someone whose name you’ve drawn from a hat smacks of workplace bullying, but it’s worth thinking carefully about exercising your veto. Often taken most seriously by the least powerful in the office, don’t think you can get away with irreverence if you are one of the higher-ups. Can you risk an important file going missing ten minutes before a crucial meeting?
 
If you do decide to play along, don’t use it as an opportunity to recycle the bath salts you “won” at the summer-fair tombola: you can count on someone to remember it was you. Instead, put on an Oscar-worthy performance of enthusiasm and parcel up a bundle of your own (authored) books. If you don’t think you can hit the right level of feigned amazement when they’re unwrapped, put together a package of books penned by your friends, if you still have any after following my advice!
 
Which bits of Christmas do you say no to? Do you have any advice for those still stuck with yes?

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From here to graffiti, how do I manage that? I could have defaced a cosy-Christmas billboard, if a certain unlikely character hadn’t made it into my head. Must be because I’ve booked myself in for a singalong Messiah next weekend! Sometimes, I’m not bothered where the inspiration comes from, as long as it comes.
Not in tablets of stone

He had all the signs of seasonal affective disorder. “But I should be above all that.”

Gabriel was sympathetic. “God Almighty, no-one’s immune.”

“Avarice, gluttony, debauchery. That was never in my plan.”

“Then tell them!”

“How? No-one listens to me anymore.”

“You need to forge a stronger connection.”

“Christ, I can’t send my boy again. He still suffers flashbacks two millennia on.”

“Remember Moses, and the ten commandments?”

“Stone tablets? Everything’s electronic now.”

“Not entirely.” Gabriel handed Him a can of spray paint. “Jesus’ll love this.”

And so we awoke to graffiti on Christmas morning: NOT IN MY NAME!
 
Thanks for reading. I'd love to know what you think. If you've enjoyed this post, you might like to sign up via the sidebar for regular email updates and/or my quarterly Newsletter.
18 Comments
Andrew Blackman link
7/12/2018 07:50:09 pm

Nice post, Anne! I find so much of Christmas too much these days. I love the meal and the family time, but all the consumerism just turns me off. I'm having a quiet time in the Greek mountains this year, just me and my wife. I'm giving a book each to my three nephews, but no other presents, and I don't expect to receive any either. It's all too much consumption, in a world where the other 364 days already involve too much consumption.

Reply
Anne Goodwin
10/12/2018 04:20:39 pm

Thanks, Andrew, and welcome to my blog! Sounds like you’ve got your Christmas sorted and hope you enjoy the mountains. I’ve spent quite a lot of Christmases abroad and it never seems quite as intense.

Reply
D. Avery link
7/12/2018 09:10:45 pm

HA! You are right on all the way. You are a wise woman dispensing wise advice.
One of the perks to having no children of my own is having choices regarding Christmas. We pretty much don't do it. And I don't appreciate it infiltrating the work place; that seems inappropriate to me, but there it is, even when there is still work to do. This is my kind of Christmas post. Great flash accompaniment.

Reply
Anne Goodwin
10/12/2018 04:26:11 pm

Thanks, D. In teaching it wouldn’t be an option, but I used to enjoy working in the quiet period between Christmas and New Year – it was always less pressurised with fewer people around. In fact, I still enjoy it now my work space is the computer and blogosphere! Hope you enjoy your non-holiday holiday!

Reply
H.R.R. Gorman link
8/12/2018 12:07:49 am

Haha, I loved this. I imagined it like a mischievous version of those talking stars and galaxies in It's a Wonderful Life!

Reply
Anne Goodwin
10/12/2018 04:28:24 pm

Ha, now I’m going to have to watch it again and take notes!

Reply
Susan Osborne link
8/12/2018 10:20:30 am

Excellent antidote to Christmas post, Anne, and not in the least bit bah, humbug!

Reply
Anne Goodwin
10/12/2018 04:30:58 pm

Thanks, Susan, I seem to be doing quite well this year – although we had two Christmas cards before we were into December I’ve heard only one carol so far.

Reply
Norah Colvin link
9/12/2018 10:47:06 am

That's the Anne I've grown to love over the years. Beautifully said and I (almost) agree. Some parts I'm not willing to give up just yet, but you're definitely right about the consumerism. Most adults can buy for themselves what they'd like and most children already have far too much.
I love your flash. So clever. I think it's not only in response to Christmas that you-know-who would graffiti "Not in my name". Most of what goes on in his name has got nothing at all to do with what he (if he existed) would have wished.

Reply
Anne Goodwin
10/12/2018 04:35:58 pm

Thanks, Norah, of course you don’t have to give up if you actually enjoy it! I was thinking that with young children in your life there must be more of a point to it, although I suppose it still can be painful to witness the excess.
I was surprised to find myself talking to God, but there are so many misuses of his/her good name as you say. But for me taking the Christ out of Christmas doesn’t alleviate the ridiculousness.

Reply
Charli Mills
10/12/2018 07:45:36 pm

Ah, if only life were as simple as calling off the ridiculous excesses of the season, but unfortunately consumerism has infiltrated the culture. It's become one of those tangled webs Shakespeare warned us about weaving. Emotionally, the Season has damaged many in America. Taking your wise advice, I think we adults should be picking apart the tangled threads of our webs. Choose which threads bring life. If faithful, use the Advent for its purpose (to prepare for Christ). If traditional, keep the traditions you love, not the ones you are supposed to keep (because...because...why?) If caught up in the melee, remove yourself (preferably to books -- good call, Anne). My biggest concern is the rate of depression people feel this time of year. Now, coming from a northern climate, I love the lights of the season and celebrate all things light-bringing this time of year. I attend many festivities from different cultures, so I also relish embracing the festivities of my own, damaged as they might be. I think it's important that we each embrace with honesty what feeds us (and I love cooking the big meal). If it doesn't feed, don't eat! And if one is having to pee beer in a graveyard mid-midnight mass, yeah, some threads need to be cut! I appreciate your tone and encouragement for adults to adult at Christmastime. Your flash captures an obvious message that I think would be ignored -- in stone or graffiti. Which is why we need grace. And if not that, then the least we can do is be kind to one another. Merry Book Reading, Anne!

Reply
Anne Goodwin
11/12/2018 01:32:28 pm

Thanks, Charli, very well said! Yes, it’s that combination of infantilisation and commercial pressure that makes it so difficult to hang on to our own choices and the sense of inadequacy leads not only to depression, but also drunkenness and domestic abuse. Not that it would suit me now, but actually that memory of being in the churchyard is one of my fond memories from the Christmases of adolescence. This is very much a work in progress for me – every year I understand it a little more.

Reply
Irene Waters link
12/12/2018 09:29:33 am

Couldn't agree more with what you say Anne. We escaped one year a couple of years ago but my mother at 90 still looks forward to Christmas so we try for her sake to make it something special. We don't go overboard on presents though and we no longer cook - the vision of the entire nation eating the same meal at the same time did appeal to me though. That stopped in Australia probably ten, maybe twenty years ago. Now its a barbie or prawns at the beach. We go out for a civilised meal. I loved your flash. I said to another blogger recently that so few people are celebrating the reason for the day it should just be banned. Too much commercialism and too many people that suffer severe depression or attempted suicide. Not a pretty time of year and I'm sure he would be up there saying 'not in my name."

Reply
Anne Goodwin
14/12/2018 02:28:57 pm

I’d love for the Christians to take back Christmas and make it much quieter, more like Easter. I’ve escaped abroad several times but now I’m too lazy to pack a suitcase I just have to shut myself away in the UK (or not, as I’m often tramping the moors). But I do have fond memories of a couple of Christmas beach barbecues which makes much more sense than roast turkey in a hot climate. Gold star for you, Irene, putting aside your own preferences to celebrate with your mother. I hope some of her pleasure can rub off on you.

Reply
Robbie Cheadle
12/12/2018 04:07:43 pm

A really excellent flash, Anne. I really enjoyed it.

Reply
Anne Goodwin
14/12/2018 02:22:05 pm

Thanks, Robbie.

Reply
Nancy Brady link
13/12/2018 01:35:29 am

What an excellent use of the prompt and what a phenomenal story in so few words (99 in fact although I didn't count). Your other comments about Christmas just added to the enjoyment of your post. ~nan

Reply
Anne Goodwin
14/12/2018 02:21:25 pm

Yup, 99! Thanks for reading and glad you liked it, Nancy.

Reply

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