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Welcome

I started this blog in 2013 to share my reflections on reading, writing and psychology, along with my journey to become a published novelist.​  I soon graduated to about twenty book reviews a month and a weekly 99-word story. Ten years later, I've transferred my writing / publication updates to my new website but will continue here with occasional reviews and flash fiction pieces, and maybe the odd personal post.

ANNE GOODWIN'S WRITING NEWS

Why #Metoo conversations are everybody’s business #amreading

20/11/2017

4 Comments

 
My real-world promotion of World Toilet Day yesterday was somewhat eclipsed by a surprise conversation about #MeToo. Surprise because, having personally experienced only “mild” forms of unwanted sexual attention, I hadn’t jumped on this particular bandwagon, the conversation left me feeling I should have. After all, one doesn’t have to have experienced direct gender discrimination to be a feminist. One shouldn’t have to have experienced the trauma of rape to oppose the culture of misogyny that so often enables it.

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As I’ve said before, I’m no hero when it comes to defending the issues that matter to me, and I might not have expounded on the subject if I were at risk of being re-traumatised or feared the men would not treat my opinions with respect. But it wasn’t a case of preaching to the converted. What I learnt from that conversation was that not all decent men are aware that unwanted, unwelcome and uncomfortable sexual attention is part of virtually every woman’s ordinary experience of being in the world. Nor, I deduce from a very limited sample of other-sex humans, do they know that our tolerance of the everyday harassment, rather than building resilience, can make us less able to recognise, and fight off, more extreme and dangerous assaults should they come our way.
 
I’d like more men to know that, and they might be more receptive to the message if they hear it from other men. But those other men might not be so amenable to passing on the message if they themselves become afraid of the finger pointing at them. While women may enjoy a moment of schadenfreude when a man feels the fear she’s known her entire life, paranoia does not make us receptive to new ideas. The news of the BBC
ditching a well-loved presenter for an inappropriate ten-year-old text could make some feel that the standard has been pitched so high they might as well give up trying. An amnesty for past intrusive behaviours that were naive, thoughtless or crass rather than criminal, along with a clear message that some forms of “banter” will no longer be tolerated, might be more conducive to creating a new climate of mutual respect.
 
While too much confrontation can induce a defensive withdrawal or counter-attack, fiction can provide an extremely safe insight into another’s life experience. Perhaps what we really need is for men to read more novels about how misogyny makes the world unsafe for women. I’ve picked out three from this year’s reads – click on the image to go straight to the review – and you can find more
through this link. My review of The Burning Girl shows that it’s not only decent men who underestimate how much fear dominates the lives of women. Let’s see what you think.

Thanks for reading. I'd love to know what you think. If you've enjoyed this post, you might like to sign up via the sidebar for regular email updates and/or my quarterly Newsletter.
4 Comments
Norah Colvin link
26/11/2017 11:29:22 am

Both a thoughtful and thought-provoking post, Anne. Sometimes the attitudes, behaviour and language are so entrenched that they go unnoticed by all but the one in the firing line. We all need to be made more aware of the insidiousness of so much negativity and say that enough is enough, no more. And it occurs in many areas of discrimination, not just gender.
We had a state election here yesterday. Our premier is a childless woman. She wanted to have children but had fertility issues. Why I even know that is crazy. Would we ever ask about a man's fatherhood status? When we had a female prime minister, she was referred to as barren - a disgusting remark. I thought we'd learned. But no, yesterday a political reporter referred to our incumbent premier as having a "tuckshop mum smile". What does that even mean? It certainly wasn't meant to flatter either the premier or the wonderful mums who give up their time to volunteer in the tuck shop so that the children of others can eat at lunch time. I have heard no response to the comment (though I haven't looked) but I don't think he should be allowed to comment again, or not until he learns to clean up his act. Why do "they" think women are easy prey and that they have the right to attack their reproductive and nurturing roles as inferior. Didn't they have mothers once? Maybe not wives, partners or daughters? Should we attack that?
Now I've ranted. Sorry. But I agree with you, that we all need to say our bit. Stop. It's over. Be nice to each other.

Reply
Annecdotist
27/11/2017 12:24:30 pm

Your rant is most welcome, Norah. I totally agree, it’s appalling the personal information we’re given about people in the news, particularly women.
You mention mothers, and I think that’s part of the roots of widespread misogyny. Not at all in the case of the merits and demerits of the individual’s experience of mothering – oh, gosh, that would be yet another way of blaming women for our own persecution (incidentally, since I’m rambling, there was a report of a rape on the local news yesterday with brief interviews with three locals, while all abhorred what had happened – how could they not? – not one of them referred to the villainy of the perpetrator while two mentioned the need to keep their children indoors) – but that for most of us it’s our first relationship. Even in the most loving relationship, there is an imbalance of power between mother and baby (I know many will say that they are slaves to the baby, which of course they are if they’re doing the job right, but of course the baby is dependent on the mother for its very survival), and potential for resentment of that, which can become another unconscious motivation to control all women.

Reply
Norah Colvin link
14/12/2017 10:39:57 am

Too true. We are the way we are because of our mothers. Does that mean mothers, and not money, are the root of all evil? Surely the root of all good too.

Reply
Annecdotist
14/12/2017 05:57:17 pm

Ha, the root of everything indeed. But then it’s our collective responsibility to ensure mothers are supported to do the best they can.

Reply



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