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Welcome

I started this blog in 2013 to share my reflections on reading, writing and psychology, along with my journey to become a published novelist.​  I soon graduated to about twenty book reviews a month and a weekly 99-word story. Ten years later, I've transferred my writing / publication updates to my new website but will continue here with occasional reviews and flash fiction pieces, and maybe the odd personal post.

ANNE GOODWIN'S WRITING NEWS

Can you crack Christmas or does Christmas crack you?

9/12/2019

14 Comments

 

Hark! Is that the jingle of an overladen shopping trolley or the bells on Santa’s sleigh? Is that the screech of a fractious parent or a chorus of preschoolers singing “Away in a Manger” out of tune? Yes, Christmas is out to get you, whether you dread it or welcome it with open arms. To help you prepare yourself for the onslaught, I’ve identified four different Christmas personality types; which one are you?

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Ask yourself two simple questions:

  1. Do you tend to ‘do’ Christmas, whether in the traditional or some hybrid newfangled way, or do you try to avoid it as much as you can?
  2. Do you anticipate Christmas mostly with anxiety or with joy in your heart?

Find your personality type from the table below and read the detailed descriptions that follow. Don’t forget to share your ‘diagnosis’ anonymously in the poll and/or in the comments below.

Disclaimer
Serious personality research is based on the analysis of multiple data points; this has come straight out of my – admittedly thoughtful – head. Therefore it’s just for fun and you participate at your own risk!

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Christmas crackers: cheerful joiners

You rise to the challenge of cooking roast dinner for twenty and seating them around a table designed for six. You love shopping for the perfect present and dressing your home with baubles and lights. Or you’re a Christian or a chorister with faith in the Messiah as written in the Gospels or on Handel’s score. Or perhaps you’ve established a new Christmas tradition with your loved ones, a luxurious holiday with no tinsel in sight. Or you channel the Christmas spirit through volunteering at a shelter. Alleluia, what’s not to like?
 
Watch out for … smugness or assuming everyone would do it your way: why do so at Christmas, when you’re open to diversity for the rest of the year? By all means invite a lonely neighbour around for sherry, but only if you genuinely enjoy each other’s company. No-one appreciates being pitied and, if you’re guilty about good fortune that others can’t share, a donation to charity can assuage your guilt.


Christmas martyrs: anxious joiners

You’d rejoice if Christmas were cancelled, but a gaggle of children, elderly relatives or assorted hangers-on depend on you. You hate cooking, or you’re not very good at it, but you’ll be fine if you follow the 371-point countdown you found in a magazine. You’ll scour the shops – on the high street or virtual – for this year’s must-have toy. Because, because, people will be disappointed if you don’t do it perfectly and you can have a rest in January when it’s all over and done.
 
Watch out for … perfectionism and burnout. It’s only in those cosy Christmas adverts that the holiday is ever perfect and, if you exhaust yourself or get snappy juggling so many responsibilities, you’ll end up ‘spoiling’ Christmas anyway.  Prioritise! Delegate! As I set out in last year’s Annethology Christmas message, you’re not obliged to do it all. Seriously, if you set yourself impossible standards, you risk joining the victims. And if you can’t set reasonable limits, get yourself some therapy and learn to be kinder to yourself.


Humbuggers: cheerful avoiders

Rather than a respite from routine or workplace drudgery, Christmas comes as an unwelcome interruption to an otherwise pleasant life. You can appreciate it brings joy to others, but your circumstances don’t conform to the stereotype. You don’t tick any of the boxes; you prefer to focus your time and energy on what you genuinely enjoy. You relish the quiet of the countryside with a long walk on December 25th. Or you curl up in the duvet with a good book – one of these eight with a non-glitzy fictional Christmas perhaps – or a box set. A day to please yourself, what’s not to like?
 
Watch out for … feelings of inadequacy or making do with ‘Christmas lite’. Don’t underestimate the social and commercial pressures to conform. Some martyrs will feel threatened by your capacity to give Christmas the finger, while Big Business will try their damnedest to get you to splurge on your credit card. They’ll target your inadequacies and hint that the solution is to spend, spend, spend! Resist! You’re not perfect, but neither is anyone else. It’s not your imperfections that drive you to opt out of Christmas, it’s the inadequacy of the holiday itself to meet your needs. While card-carrying humbuggers can co-opt some trappings of the season, don’t succumb to ‘a quiet Christmas’. Why accept the inferior version if it’s simply not your thing? People might look at you askance when you say you don’t do Christmas, but you’re showing solidarity with those that the contemporary secular Christmas actively harms.


Victims: anxious avoiders

You dread it, and for good reason: it’s always fraught. Your partner gets drunk and difficult, or you don’t have a partner to spend it with. Or close relatives, or friends who aren’t cocooned with their kin. You’re mourning a loved one. You’re a victim of domestic violence. You’re already heavily in debt. Let’s face it, Christmas is shit!
 
Watch out for … suffering in silence and/or self-blame If you’re lonely, is it just at Christmas or year-round? If the latter, make concrete plans to reduce it, hard as this might feel. Loneliness is bad for our health. But if yours is solely seasonal, does it need to be a big deal? You might actually be a loner, drawn to solitude, and it’s the illusion of the perfect family Christmas – perpetuated by capitalism and Christmas martyrs – that makes you induces you to feel you’ve got it wrong. While advice abounds on combating Christmas loneliness, you might prefer to ride it out – you might even be a closet humbugger – finding solace in one of these books. If you’re bereaved, you might not want to join the jolly Christmas crackers. Unless you’re suicidal – in which case get help – remember sadness is a normal human emotion. It would be mad to expect the entire world to be happy on the same day of the year.
 
As with suicide, Christmas debt and domestic violence is beyond the scope of this post, other than to urge, please don’t suffer in silence! You can’t deal with debt by splurging on food and presents; if money is a worry, get some help budgeting, don’t take out a loan! If someone in your household can’t control their temper, a mince pie and sprinkled glitter isn’t going to put it right. If you’re not safe at home, call the police!


Which type am I? Which type are you?

I’m glad to say I’ve never been a Christmas victim, but I’ve moved through the other three types. I was a Christmas cracker through my childhood and early adulthood, relishing a family Christmas with my parents and siblings, and later a partner, over many years. The Christian part slipped away gradually but many traditions continued. I’ve also done a loved-up cosy twosome, and spent several pleasant Christmases abroad.
 
I don’t think I’ve ever hosted Christmas, but I have slipped into a slighter form of martyrdom in trying to maintain the Christmas ‘magic’ when it no longer fits. It took me a while to accept that, while my husband and I agree on a similar level of Christmas participation versus nonparticipation, we’re poles apart on the content. I’ve found it a lot less stressful since coming out as a humbugger: as a childless, vegetarian, low-alcohol, atheist, rubbish present-buyer, non-party-goer who is very happy with my day-to-day life, I’ve found – or created – my tribe. When the weather’s kind, and there’s a quality Pixar or Disney on TV, Christmas day can be lovely: solitary walk; couple of hours of writing; cuddling up to children’s movie; a decent early dinner with a glass of Prosecco. But in thick fog or rubbish telly, it’s more fragile. That’s probably why I keep posting about alternative Christmases: I’m still working it out for myself.
 
Enjoy yours, whatever form it takes – and please don't leave without registering your type!

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When I saw the prompt for this week’s flash fiction challenge, I thought it had cracked me. I’ve heard of key lime pie, but I don’t think I’ve ever tasted it. And it seemed worlds away from my Christmas theme. But when I decided to build my 99-word story around my not knowing, I think I cracked it. See if you agree!

Makes a pleasant change from Christmas pudding

Every year she gamely tackled Christmas pudding: weeks before in the kitchen; at the table, stomach stuffed, on the day. She’d do it differently this year.

“It’s green!” whined Grandson.

“There’s no flaming brandy!” groaned his dad.

Spoons clinking on plates, they hardly heard Daughter-in-law cough. Eyes bulging, hands crossed at her throat, her chair fell to the floor as she staggered to her feet. Fortunately, Maiden Aunt was a first aider. She soon Heimliched out a tiny key.

“What the …?”

Such fun hunting for the plum pudding silver sixpence. She’d updated the tradition with key lime pie.
Thanks for reading. I'd love to know what you think. If you've enjoyed this post, you might like to sign up via the sidebar for regular email updates and/or my quarterly Newsletter.
14 Comments
Lydia link
9/12/2019 12:36:36 pm

What a fun post. And you advice for each type of person was quite sensible. :)

Reply
Anne Goodwin
9/12/2019 05:11:51 pm

Thanks, Lydia, I enjoyed putting it together.

Reply
sarah brentyn
10/12/2019 02:32:17 am

I'm...none? Or a combination? Hmm... Though I did vote "Humbuggers: cheerful avoiders", I'm more a combo. I love this time of year for the happiness (and the welcome break from daily stress and errands and running around). It really does bring me joy. I love the twinkling lights when it's so dark and dreary outside. But I don't like cooking or talking or people. ;-) I'd much rather be left alone to sit by the fire reading and drinking a glass of wine after my walk alone.

Great flash!

Reply
Anne Goodwin
10/12/2019 01:55:31 pm

Thanks for joining in, Sarah, and seems you’re a tricky one to categorise. Quite rightly too, although could also be a flaw in my system. When does a happy humbugger morph into a Christmas cracker? I think if you relish Christmas even if you don’t do the traditional stuff that’s where you belong.

Reply
sarah brentyn
10/12/2019 02:56:58 pm

I suppose you could say I'm a bit of a Christmas Cracker, then. (But I don't expect anything of anyone, I donate year-round, I decorate with lights as much as possible around my home, I watch A Christmas Carol at least 10 times, and I don't like any Christmas parties/shows/concerts/get-togethers.) We are complex beings. ;-)

Anne Goodwin
10/12/2019 03:48:44 pm

We are indeed but splurging on A Christmas Carol cracks the category for me.

Norah Colvin
10/12/2019 10:03:23 am

Anne, I love your flash, and your post. I guess that makes me cheerful. As far as your personality types go as described, I'm a little of each, which is true of me in most of these types of questionnaires, including astrology types. I remember doing one once (I think it was Myers-Briggs) and being told I had a personality disorder because I wasn't any one particular type. I'm a Gemini. What more can I say? You are very clever to come up with both the positives and negatives of all the personality types.
Your flash is brilliant. I was thinking of putting a key in a pie but hadn't worked it out. You did it so well alluding to the sixpence in the Christmas pud. I've just realised, after reading yours, that I've also made a Christmas connection in mine. It wasn't intentional for this time of the year. It just happened that way. A particular nursery rhyme just begged to be used.

Reply
Anne Goodwin
10/12/2019 01:52:28 pm

Thanks, Norah, and looking forward to reading your key lime pie nursery rhyme.
I think it’s good to be a bit of everything especially if we can grab ourselves the best bits. Although I’m not sure there’s anything good about being a Christmas victim, is there?
I’d be surprised if it was the Myers Briggs telling you had a personality disorder! I believe it’s the most thoroughly researched and part of its point is acknowledging that we combine different characteristics. And I’ll always love it as it recognised my drift further into introversion since embracing the writing life.

Reply
Charli Mills
10/12/2019 07:09:33 pm

What a fun post, Anne -- holiday cheer, Anecdotal style. ;-) As a child, I experienced Christmas Victim, so as an adult mum, I made a decision to recreate "traditions." We made up silly things, like driving around on snowy roads in our pajamas on Christmas Eve to look at Christmas lights on houses and yards. We never believed in Santa but we did gift presents and stockings with the kids -- usually games and puzzles and stockings filled with the snack foods for Christmas day. I love eclectic Christmas music and cooking (but that's year round). This year I recreated Christmas again, after being homeless and re-homed but without my "stuff." I won't go out buying new ornaments and such so no more Christmas trees. I'm attending a Moon Lodge retreat this Friday to celebrate the quiet long nights bring to us and I'm hosting a Yule Party on the first day of Yule. We will make suet logs for birds to hang with red ribbon outdoors in the bare trees. The Hub will want to watch a Christmas Story and I play with the Jacquie Lawson Advent Calendar. Cheerful, yes. But bah humbug to traditions that trap people in guilt and debt.

One thing I want to add -- you mention inviting lonely people over only if you enjoy each other's company. There is a fine line between being selfless and selfish. Pity does no one any good, but I do try to have a heart that welcomes others even if they would not be my comfortable choice for company. It invites us to grow.

Your flash made me laugh! Someone I used to work with hid a habenero pepper in a Christmas rice dish. Finding that is as bad as choking on a key! Clever take on the prompt and tying it up with a Christmas bow.

Reply
Anne Goodwin
11/12/2019 08:32:45 am

You’re a Christmas cracker! And a fine achievement creating new traditions out of the wrong kind of Christmas in childhood. Of course, it helps that you like cooking! In other circumstances, when people can’t acknowledge what they missed out on as a child, trying to capture what they should have had turns them into Christmas martyrs.
Fair point about the guests. If you enjoy entertaining it can work. But I think feeling like a spare part can be as bad as or worse than being alone and there’s something strange about expecting everyone to join in this particular festival.
When I first read your comment, I thought they’d put the chilli in a cake – that would be mean! Nevertheless a shock in the rice if you’re not expecting it – and a bit passive-aggressive serving food with a nasty kick in it. But maybe that’s what the Christmas martyrs need to do to get out of the loop of self-sacrifice!
Hope your Christmas meets your joyful expectations – and you don’t get too cold travelling around in your pyjamas!

Reply
Roberta Eaton Cheadle
12/12/2019 04:51:19 am

What a lovely post, Anne. I am definitely a Christmas cracker and back my Christmas cakes at the end of October. I have hosted Christmas lunch ever year for 19 years. I enjoyed your flash too.

Reply
Anne Goodwin
17/12/2019 08:57:26 am

Thanks, Robbie. Hope yours is cracking this year as ever.

Reply
Susan Osborne link
24/12/2019 02:13:08 pm

Brilliant post, Anne. I was once a Christmas cracker although, thankfully, never cooked for twenty, but a decade as a bookseller put the kybosh on that. I'm now happily ensconced with my partner in the humbugger camp. Enjoy tomorrow!

Reply
Anne Goodwin
24/12/2019 03:55:27 pm

Happy humbugging, Susan! I’m hoping for bright sunshine for a quiet contemplative walk.

Reply



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